Euphemisms help us talk about embarrassing sexual and bathroom-related habits in polite society, but what about everything else that embarrasses us on a daily basis?
Eating dinner at McDonald's in one of the culinary capitals of the world. =
Forgetting the name of someone who apparently knows me well enough to give me a hug. =
TAKING THE BRAIN TRAIN TO BLANKTOWN
Wearing clothes a little too informal at a classy event, and knowing I'm just going to have to tough it out because this thing lasts a couple hours and there's no time to go home and come back again. =
BEING THE OSTRICH AMONG PENGUINS
Adding on to a funny bit that everyone was enjoying, but taking it a little too far in some way, I guess, because everyone just got quiet and looks kind of uncomfortable, and now the joke is dead. =
SHOOTING THE CLOWN IN THE DICK
Mispronouncing a word that I've only ever read, and never heard spoken aloud while attempting to sound intelligent. =
PUTTIN' THE "C" IN TUCSON
Eating more food than I wanted or needed because it was free and who knows when I'm going to get more food again. It's not like I'm an adult with steady job or anything. Christ, what's wrong with me? =
LOADING THE TURKEY WITH EXTRA STUFFING
Running with a backpack on. =
GIVING A PIGGYBACK-RIDE TO THE POLYESTER TODDLER
Getting chastised by a stranger. =
Getting scold-fucked HARD.