From Hallie Cantor on
You must be a cold shower, because I'd love to be inside you. Is your hair frizzy because of the humidity or because you're shocked to see someone this good-looking? You look like you could use something cool to suck on. You must not have an air conditioner, because I'm your fan and you're turning me on. Your name's Aloe, right? I'd feel better if you were all over me. Is that crotch sweat, or are you just happy to see me? Your eyes are like two oceans, and I wanna go boogie-boarding. Hey, uh, are we in Jamaica? Because it's, like...really hot out. Are you the sun? Because I hate you. Wait, no, come back. I'm sorry, it is too disgusting outside to be clever. I'm just trying to find someone I can talk to and laugh with and have sex with sometimes and bring to family weddings and sure, maybe we'll have a fun few weeks and then drift apart because we aren't really compatible and we're too young to get serious, but maybe we'll stay together and learn from each other and grow to define our life's values in tandem and one day pass them on to a new generation. So do you want to get out of here? Whoa, hold up, is your crotch actually sweating? Gross.