7 Words the Internet Should Stop Saying Right Now
7 Words the Internet Should Stop Saying Right Now

There are probably a lot of people on the Internet who are going to say I'm butthurt for writing this article, but those people are unoriginal, mentally worthless wastes of life-sustaining resources. What is the point of saying someone is "butthurt"? You want to dismiss someone's opinions on a matter about which they feel strongly, but you don't want to refute their opinions or add anything fresh to the conversation, and you want the faint feeling of cleverness you get from using a word that was made up by someone else with a slightly (albeit vaguely homophobic) more creative approach to life than you have? If you feel the urge to use the word "butthurt," here's what you should do instead: say nothing. You clearly have nothing worth saying.


7 Words the Internet Should Stop Saying Right Now
7 Words the Internet Should Stop Saying Right Now

One of the best things about the Internet is that it gives everyone the chance to share and exchange stories of human experience and form a bond with others who have felt the same feelings you have. At some point along the way, however, the Internet decided that the only feeling was awkwardness. Some of this has to do with the aggressive pride many take in introversion and social ineptitude, but a lot of it is just a matter of people not knowing any words, so they just call everything "awkward." Here's an exercise for anyone who wants to describe something as "awkward": try using a different word. The English language is full of amazing words that can help you express the most nuanced corners of your emotional state. Let's all take a break from "awkward" and expand our vocabulary.


7 Words the Internet Should Stop Saying Right Now
7 Words the Internet Should Stop Saying Right Now

This poor, poor word has been destroyed by the Internet. It's either used incorrectly, or it's used by obnoxious know-it-alls who are correcting the people who use it incorrectly. There's literally no way to use the word "literally" anymore without making readers instantly annoyed. Unless you're Chris Traeger, how about you just say factual statements or hyperbolic statements without calling them out, either correctly or incorrectly, as "literal."


7 Words the Internet Should Stop Saying Right Now
7 Words the Internet Should Stop Saying Right Now

Obviously, I'm not suggesting that all uses of the word "this" should be discontinued. What I'm referring to is when someone reblogs or shares another person's thought/picture/work with their own additional commentary simply being, "This." Let's all save some time and stop doing this. The mere fact that you're sharing the thing you're sharing silently implies, "This." If you want to elaborate on why you're sharing something, go for it, but if you don't actually have anything to add, just share and move on.


7 Words the Internet Should Stop Saying Right Now
7 Words the Internet Should Stop Saying Right Now

There is nothing tackier than seeing a long stream of tweets from random people saying "RIP [name of famous person who just died]" within moments of that person dying. This opinion might cause some contention because, yes, a lot of these people mean well and there are definitely tackier things people can say after a person has died, but the act of writing "RIP" on the Internet—usually sandwiched between random other thoughts that clearly show you're not too beat up about this person's death—is so bland and insignificant that there's really no value in saying it at all. If you're upset, say that. If not, you don't actually have to say anything. This dead person's mother isn't patrolling all of the Internet to make sure you want him to rest in peace.


7 Words the Internet Should Stop Saying Right Now
7 Words the Internet Should Stop Saying Right Now

So when did it become a requirement for every story on the Internet to start with the word "so"? There's no reason for this. It's like a shitty, casual, moronic version of starting every anecdote with, "once upon a time." If you feel the urge to start a story with "so," do it, then delete the "so." There you go.


7 Words the Internet Should Stop Saying Right Now
7 Words the Internet Should Stop Saying Right Now

The extremely old, but still not dead "Le [any word here]" trend is a prime example of the Internet taking a mildly amusing reference, then repeating it until it is stripped of all creativity, humor, or even any knowledge of the original reference. Let's take a look back: first, Chuck Jones and Michael Maltese made a cartoon about a horny, French skunk, but it was in English, so they just put "le" before stuff to make it seem French (i.e. le sigh), then, in 2003, albinoblacksheep.com made a video about the end of the world that employed the same le + English word formula for fake French, then, in 2008, the blight on original humor commonly known as "Rage Comics" produced a comic that involved a French person not raging, but, instead, using this subtle, hilarious le + English word fake French. After this slow devolution of creativity and actual humor, that's when the rest of the Internet assholes swarmed and destroyed every last fiber of meaning or worth from this phrase. Stop saying this. Say something new. Le fin.