It's the middle of July and summer's just arrived! Here are a few profiles of nature for you to think about after eating a fat bag of weed. Speaking of which:

Weed
Summer Wildlife Guide as Written by Your Drug Dealer

Weed is a pretty great plant. It grows pretty much anywhere, and you smoke it or you can toke it, which is pretty great. But the coolest thing of all about weed is that it gets you stoned to the bone, and there's no better place to spark up a big green bowl of gush than the great outdoors. Just you, the great outdoors, and a big bag of weed to chow down on!

Pot
Summer Wildlife Guide as Written by Your Drug Dealer

Pot is also pretty cool. The main difference between pot and weed is the crystals. I think the crystals in pot get you higher, which is pretty fucking chill if you ask me! Just don't ask me while I'm stoned, because I get blinding headaches whenever I get high. But that won't stop me from rolling one up and snarfing that bad boy down, booyah!

Ganja
Summer Wildlife Guide as Written by Your Drug Dealer

Weed and pot combined into some futuristic mega-plant — that's ganja.

This rock
Summer Wildlife Guide as Written by Your Drug Dealer

I'll be the first to admit that this rock I found outside won't get you high. But just cuz it won't get you high, it doesn't mean it won't help you get high. Here are a few ideas, just from the top of my dome:

1. Hide some weed under it.2. Retrieve said bag of weed.

This tree
Summer Wildlife Guide as Written by Your Drug Dealer

A major amount of what you'll be looking at when out in the wild will be trees. Trees are plants, just like weed, pot, and hasheesh, but trees are best left unburned. Trees are good for hiding in when you think you hear something that was probably an animal or your cousin looking for you in the woods, but maybe not, and you're not really sure if the police are like regularly in the woods or anything but maybe you'll bing that when you get back to your house. In fact, you should just bing where the police hang out to get the drop on them, unless the police are looking at our bing searches, and that would give them the drop on me. Jesus.

Grass
Summer Wildlife Guide as Written by Your Drug Dealer

Watch out for this bad boy! I can't tell you how many times I've accidentally stuffed my pipes with grass I've found on my front lawn and then gone ahead and ripped that whole thing. Grass looks exactly like marijuana, in that they are both green, so if you're looking for a PSA, here it is: Grass, It'll Barely Get You High.