Like many of you, I'm being constantly bombarded by my elders about whether or not I'm going to vote in this year's presidential election. Yes, I plan on voting. But for whom I had no idea until it hit me like a golf club to the groin who better to lead us into the future than Bob Saget.
If you think about it, it almost makes too much sense. The man raised three television daughters on his own, so he should have no problem treating the American people with the same loving adoration. And when times get tough, Bob can address the public with that cheesy music in the background assuring us that a lesson was learned and everything will be all right.
But what about his feelings on homeland security, you may be asking. Two words: Kimmy Gibbler. She should have driven him to all-out combat on more than one occasion, but he was able to quell any hostile feelings and keep the peace.
Also on his political agenda: threatening exile to Rebecca Romijn until she gets back with Uncle Jesse; snatching Dave Coulier from the Surreal Life to be his running mate; reposessing the Yankees before selling them to a homeless man for half a bottle of malt liquor; and hopping in his plutonium-powered Delorian, traveling back in time, and preventing the move Gigli from ever being made. If you can't agree with that, then you aren't American.
Like any qualified presidential candidate, there was also that dark period filled with drugs and promiscuous sexual encounters to fuel his cocaine habit. But the man admitted his problem, even went to rehab, and is now cleaner than his old Full House.
Bob Saget is more American than funny home videos. Hell, he might even be bigger than Santa Claus. Those our age grew up with him and know that the man represents all that is right with the world. Few people know this, but Saget actually directed the movie Dirty Work starring Norm MacDonald and Artie Lange. If that doesn't make you want to shout "Hail to the Chief," then I don't know what else would.
So when November rolls around, and everyone else is asking you who you voted for, don't tell them. This is America and we have certain rights. But deep down in your heart, you'll know you did the right thing by voting for Danny Tanner, I mean uhh Bob Saget. Look no further than the Full House theme song: "When you're lost out there, and you're all alone, a light is waiting to carry you home. Everywhere you look.
That light, my friends, is Bob Saget.
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