Just because you couldn't get tickets to this week's game doesn't mean you can't watch the game just like you're at the stadium. Check out the steps below to create the exact same experience.
Despite being miserably hungover, get up extra early, head out to your driveway, and force down a few beers and lighter fluid flavored burgers to simulate tailgating before the 1 o'clock kickoff.
Set the thermostat in your apartment to 31 degrees Fahrenheit. If it won't go this low, move your TV over near the window, and set up a hard, uncomfortable seat outside.
If you want to see any of the 1st quarter, head towards your seat at least 45 minutes before game time to beat the crowds.
Right before kickoff, place the TV as far away from you as possible to ensure all the game action is almost impossible to see.
Make sure to charge yourself and any guests $8.50 for beers, $9.25 for any type of food. Send this money to the owner of the stadium where the game you're watching is being held.
Berate and taunt any guests wearing a jersey of another team, and I mean any guest...man, woman, or french bulldog.
During the game make sure to head to the bathroom only during exciting drives to avoid lines.
Stop serving beer after halftime.
Angered by your team playing poorly and lack of beer service, start an argument with the french bulldog in the jersey. Remind it your team has won a Super Bowl more recently. If this isn't true don't worry, everyone else cheering for your team is still irrationally on your side.
Promise security you'll be cool for the remainder of the game.
Cold and defeated, leave your seat half way through the 4th quarter to beat the traffic back to your room, making one last taunting comment to the french bulldog.
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