Hey everyone, I'm back. I've been getting a ton of requests for a hair tutorial, so this is it. I'm gonna show you my blow-dry routine for a straight and smooth hair style.
I'm gonna do a separate video for my other go-to style, "Greasy tangled ponytail because you pressed the snooze button instead of showering again," so look for that tutorial soon. For this one, we start with a shower!
It's always better for your hair to use a comb when it's wet to slowly get out any tangles. But since I'm constantly rushing and can't handle any pain without starting to cry, we're gonna use a brush instead. The nice thing about using a brush is that it violently rips out your hair little by little, so once enough hair has built up on the brush, you can just remove it and put the hairy clump in the garbage like a slimy rat's nest.
I like to let my hair air-dry a little bit before I start blow-drying, and I help this process along by kind of shaking it out with my fingers like this. This will get even more hair to come out on your fingers because you're a disgusting animal who is literally constantly decaying. You can just discard these stray hairs by accident throughout the day, on your floor, on your clothes, or on any food you eat as soon as you start eating it.
Once your hair is lightly damp, I pin up everything but the bottom section. I like to look around my room for that hairclip that I only ever use for this, not be able to find it, give up and use a ponytail holder, and then find the hairclip.
Time for the blowdryer. Always be using the hottest setting on your hairdryer just so you know you're doing the maximum damage to your hair possible. To get my hair nice and smooth, I'm going to try to do that thing hairdressers do where they wrap the hair around a round brush, but since I don't have a round brush I'm gonna use this normal flat brush. Just wrap your hair up in it and get it really tangled in there to the point where you can let go of the brush and it stays in your hair, and the only way to get it out involves ripping a pretty big chunk of hair out. After that I'll usually just give up and start vaguely waving the hairdryer around with the diffuser pointing in the general direction of my hair.
If you get hot while you're blowdrying, a good tip is to take your shirt off for a little bit so you don't get sweat and hair all over it like a sweaty hairy pig. Once you do that, you can enjoy being really paranoid that someone will knock on your door and you won't hear it over the hairdryer, so they'll come in and see you blowdrying your hair in a bra with half of your hair balled up on the top of your head like a poodle.
When you're about halfway through your hair, it's a good idea to let your arm get really tired from holding the blowdryer and gradually hold it closer and closer to your head until you burn your scalp. Another technique here is to try switching to the other arm and realize that you're even more terrible at this with your non-dominant hand.
Rest here for a moment to allow your hair to curl and frizz unattractively as you wonder why you're even doing this. Can't you just wear a ponytail again? Spend a few minutes on the Facebook page of your friend who has a pixie cut, trying to convince yourself that you could pull that off.
As you move onto the hairs that frame your face, you'll want to let these hairs get really nice and sweaty from being under so much heat. This will start a cycle where the hairs are wet from your sweat, so you have to re-blowdry them, and that makes them sweat even more.
Once the front of your hair looks basically the way you want, it's time to remember that you've completely ignored the back. Luckily there's an easy way to fix it. Just grab a hand mirror and position yourself in front of your wall mirror so that you can see the back of your head. At that point, you'll forget all about your hair looking bad because you'll be so distracted by the idea that that's what your chin looks like to someone standing behind you?? Whoa.
If you want superstraight hair, find my video tutorial on forgetting you plugged your hair straightener in, stepping on it, and burning your foot!
Otherwise, congratulations, you're done! All that's left to do is to look down and see literally so much hair on the floor you're surprised you have any left on your head. Now it's time to go outside and have it instantly poof up from the humidity so that you end up putting it in a ponytail anyway! Byeeee!