Asking for an extension on your final paper can be intimidating, but if you just make sure to follow these simple instructions, you'll be on your way to a "yes" and an extra two weeks in no time!
1. Walk confidently into your professor's office, making frequent and intense eye contact the entire time so he knows you're mature.
2. Explain politely, clearly and succinctly why you will be unable to complete the paper by the assigned deadline.
3. No, but seriously, you're, like, REALLY busy.
4. Is this fucker still not listening to you?
5. Allow two decades of feeling powerless to completely overtake you in a wave of white-hot rage.
6. Shhhh, just be quiet, Professor Mitchell. This will all be over soon.
7. Oh, shit.
9. What the fuck did you just do?
10. Ok, ok, just calm down for a second. He might not be dead. Dad always said you had weak girlish hands.
11. Nope, he's dead. Definitely dead.
12. Try to figure out some way of justifying what just happened so that you can still call yourself a good person.
14. Quietly walk out of the office, whistling a happy innocuous tune and pulling up a list of countries the United States does not have extradition with on your phone.
15. Well, at least Mitchell wasn't one of the popular professors. It'll probably be a while before anyone notices he's gone.
16. Sarah's outside? Why the hell is Sarah trying to see Professor Mitchell?
17. She wants to turn her final paper in early? Oh, geez. Well, might as well finish what you started.
18. Explain to Professor Hanover that you cannot turn in your paper on time because you are too upset over the death of your classmate.