"I'm generally a pretty normal guy."
"I'm generally a pretty normal guy...with an edge."
Jack Russell Terrier
"I grew up in the 90s! I still collect Pogs!"
"For the last time guys, my penis is totally normal sized!"
"Homosexuality is a sin!"
"Homosexuals need our support!"
"My son's gay."
"I go to surprisingly great lengths in the name of irony."
Old English Sheepdog
"My imaginative, latchkey-kid son is in need of a best friend."
"You bought from a breeder? Oh I guess I just like to be part of the solution, that's all."
"I'm very easily swindled."
"We call our basement 'the rumpus room!"
"You kids wanna see a dead body?"
"I bought it for my daughter to teach her responsibility but...well, you know how Chelsea is."