Baby, you're so good to me and I don't think I thank you enough for it. Like – for Christmas – when you made me that card and got me that coupon book from CVS; that's so much more thoughtful than just going to the store and buying me an iPod case like I asked for or paying back the $735 I lent you to bail your mom out after that incident.

Or when you woke me up that morning with breakfast in bed; that was so sweet. Now honey, I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything, but I've never really liked Jack Daniels for breakfast – I'm more of a Grape Nuts guy. I know you want to share the things you like with me, but 160 proof whiskey at 9 AM isn't something I feel I can do on a regular basis. Aw Hell, who am I kidding, I'd do it for you baby!

Oh, you know what I never thanked you for? Coming to my grandmother's wake with me. I know that must have been hard for you, what with me being so distraught and my whole family in tears. It was so sweet how you took my Nana's rings off when you thought no one was watching you; but I was. It's amazing how you knew that she would have wanted me to have them instead of burying them in the ground. She would have really liked you, baby, liked you a lot. Can I have those by the way?

Sometimes it's the big things you do for me that make me say, "I want to spend the rest of life with this divine creature." I don't think I have to remind you of the New Year's party last year. Yes, I was being an idiot and drank a little too much to drive. And even though I said I was fine to drive, you took the car and you sold it to a chop shop. At first I was mad, but then I realized that if I'm not mature enough to control my drinking then I am not mature enough to own a car. You're going to make such a great mother, the way you can teach people life's little lessons like that. Plus, that fur coat you got with the car money looks beautiful on you and – ahh, I hate to admit it – but walking to work is good for that spare tire I've been growing around my waist since college.

But then again, sometimes it's the little things you do that make me look upon your angel face with loving adore. I'll be the first to admit that I can get a little lazy when it comes to training my dog, Bundy. But not you, no way. With one swift swing of the baseball bat, you did what ten months of patient training couldn't teach him; that it is not ok to sit on the couch. Oh, and in case you're worried about him, the vet said his rib cage will heal in a few months and – even though he'll never see again – his sense of smell was only slightly damaged. Hey, dogs practically see with their noses anyway, right?…right?

I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you. Thank you for always looking out for me and my bank account (I would have spent it all if you hadn't taken most of it for safe-keeping!). I guess I just want to say, "I love you" and let you know, sincerely, that, baby, you're so good to me.

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