A comprehensive guide to 10 stock movie moments that are always a WAY bigger deal in movies than they ever are in real life:
1. Boarding Planes
Movie: "WAIT! I know we didn't end up together because of three impossible misunderstandings, but we're obviously soul mates, and I'm glad I committed a federal crime to run through security so I could finally explain that you walked in on my Yoga teacher aggressively kissing me as part of a new experimental form of Kissing Yoga and I shoved her off right after you stormed out to get re-engaged with your shitty boyfriend and thank God I caught you at the last moment!"
Real Life: "They're still on Group Two? Fuck this, I'm getting in line anyway."
2. Staring Into The Mirror
Movie: "Behold, a symbolic self-examination two-thirds of the way through the film... Watch as I dramatically stroke my chin area in vague disbelief. Dear God, what have I done? Is THIS the man I've become? I can't TAKE it anymore, I'm gonna go back and fix that awful thing I just did!!!"
Real Life: "How is my HEAD getting fatter? This sucks. I'm like, two years away from having full-on Val Kilmer Face."
3. High School Prom
Movie: "I may not have come here with my true love, but dammit, I'm gonna steal her away from that jerky Varsity dude and drop a punch bowl on his head so everyone laughs at him then we'll kiss on the dance floor while those reflected disco-ball light-dots spin around us. We're 18 now and gonna be together forever!!!"
Real Life: "This girl's pretty cool. Just gotta pretend to enjoy pop music and dancing for three hours then it's MAYBE MAKEOUT TIME! Nope, no makeout. Oh well. Wow, my friend's parents' house is nice."
Movie: "Ahh...a dramatic, therapeutic soul-cleansing break in the midst of a chaotic disaster world out there. This steamy shower with my boobs just out of frame shall be my lone respite from the carnage..."
Real Life: "This'll put off doing work for a while!"
5. Wedding Speeches
Movie: "GULP. I accidentally just said a sexy anecdote that was TOO WILD and now the father-in-law is sternly staring at me and just squeezed his wine glass so hard he broke the stem. My best friend's wedding is ruined and so is our two-decade-long friendship!!!"
Real Life: "Oh cool, these are my close friends and family members and we're all drinking and laughing at everything. That's right, the groom IS kind of a slob!!!" [Standing Ovation]