From the overwhelming amount of e-mails we've received over the past few months, it's pretty clear what you all want to see. So today is the big day. The day all you lucky readers get to see Molly and Megan's T and A" That's right! It's time for our Tips and Advice:

Dear Molly and Megan,
I'll bite…what's your fav sexual act? Could you demonstrate it to me?
– Tyler

Molly: Mine isn't an actual "act" per say, but more like an entire production. Put on Luda's "What's Your Fantasy" and execute all of them. Then do the same with Bloodhound Gang's "The Bad Touch." Repeat once more with T-Pain's "I'm In Love With A Stripper" (I'm so pumped he wrote a song for me!). As for that demonstration" do you happen to have a webcam in your possession?
Megan: Holding hands. I especially like it when he ties me to the bedpost and then holds my hand.

Dear Molly and Megan,
I can't get laid. I'm a good looking guy, good shape good body, good personality (people tell me these things at least), there are many girls that are interested in me or find me attractive, but whenever I get the chance to hang out with them or party with them or whatever, I always get either 'friended' or I just can't seem to seal the deal… I don't get it, I mean I know I have no game but I've seen people far worse off still end up getting laid and I just can't seem to do it. Any advice?
– Good Lookin, No Action
Molly: Story of my fucking life (pun intended).
Megan: Maybe you should spend less time writing help-me letters to people who are going to mock you for being a pansy-ass and spend your time shaving your back. That's the reason no one likes you.

Dear Molly and Megan,
My question is this, I have been around the block a few times so to speak, and am now engaged to a lovely girl. The problem is that she while she is usually game (not as often as I am used to), she isn't very adventurous in bed. To be honest, she is kinda boring – a straight on missionary type of gal. She also wants her sex over in mere minutes, while I am more of a distance guy. She always orgasms two or three times really quickly and then is done like dinner. What can I do to help the situation? Any thoughts?
– Kyle
Molly: Missionary-style? Does this girl not read Cosmo? There's so much more out there" sex-wise and women wise. Go get yourself a new one.
Megan: Hold on. She orgasms two to three times really fast, you get nothing in return, but you still keep sleeping with her? I guess I have to answer your question with one of my own: Do you have a brother?

Dear Molly and Megan,
I think I might be a weird guy. I saw my first porno movie when I was two and for some reason, the idea of "head" has never really appealed to me. I can only think of a couple of times when its really "done it" for me and I was wondering if there was something wrong. I absolutely love performing oral sex on women, and have been told numerous times that I am really good at it, but when it comes to receiving, I've only finished once or twice.Is there something wrong with me?
– Dan
Molly: In a word, "yes."
Megan: Next question, please.

Dear Molly and Megan,
If you could recommend one way for a guy to pick up a girl, and never ever fail to get her naked, what would it be?
– Ryan
Molly: Uh" tell her you love her?
Megan: Well, speaking from personal experiences, if the guy gets naked first I'm likely to follow suit (note: this only applies in a crowded setting with most of your friends in the surrounding area).

Dear Molly and Megan,
i recently started messing around with a candian girl who i am good friends with. i got tired of it for various reasons (she's a psycho bitch) and met another canadian. she is really cool and not nearly as crazy as the other one. a friend of mine, who works with the second canadian, said she is legitimately bipolar and is dating 3 or 4 other guys right
now. my question is what now? one crazy canadian or the other? neither? keep writing because you two ladies are damn hilarious and good looking too,
– Joe
Molly: Where do you meet these girls, psych wards? Get back to Americans, baby" have some pride in your country.
Megan: I'd have to say both. Two is always better than one, even if it is two psychotic, slutty Canadians.


Dear Molly and Megan,
I dont have trouble with 69, its actually a pretty easy concept to grasp.
However, the girl I'm currently with gets off before i do and having an orgasm
takes a lot outta her, (HIGH FIVE)but it takes me awhile to get off. My question
is should i slow down on my end or should i just continue? The reason is I feel
bad cuz 69 turns into fellatio and then it seems a little selfish, I'm not for
sure. Have any suggestions?
– Cody
Molly: I cannot believe you'd be so selfless during sex. Isn't hooking up all about getting your fill? Don't complain about getting head. Just get it.
Megan: If she is getting off there is now reason that you shouldn't too. Remember what they say: quitters never win.

I find difficulty in the procedure of eating a girl out. Where should I keep my hands? Should I let her sit on my face? How naked should she be? Where do I concentrate? I realize that asking my friend what is most pleasurable for her would be the best course of action, but she is kind of weird; not like normal girls at all. I don't know if I can trust her answers to fit most of the female population. And she is just my friend. She actually likes this other guy. Go figure.
– John
Molly: Joe, don't even worry about it""she'll be reaching for the Rabbit as soon as you leave anyway.
Megan: If your friend isn't like normal girls at all then maybe you should try something new. Maybe what really gets her off is when you concentrate all of your efforts into trying to find a girl who likes you and not some other guy. All the weirdos I know love it.

Dear Molly and Megan,
There is no way you two are ladies. If you truly are, I am truly impressed.
Molly: You're right.
Megan: We're anteaters, bitch.

If you, too, would love to see one of your letters mocked on this website, simply drop us a line at datemandm@hotmail.com