Care and Feeding for Your New, Terrible Dog

Congratulations on your new Burdenhund! This rare and majestic breed is sure to be a rewarding addition to your family. While we're certain you'll love your new dog, the American Kennel Club would like to stress that not every breed is perfect for every household, and Burdenhunds are not without their own little quirks!

Burdenhunds (or "Burdies") can be aloof and independent -- they were, after all, the favored dogs of Liechtensteinian Kings. They are trainable, but require patience and consistency. Burdies were bred to be hunting dogs, so they have a tendency to chase large rodents, normal-size birds, and exceptionally small people. They hate children and will instinctively stalk them until the child drops from exhaustion. Burdies do not sleep and know no fear. They are very loyal and loooove to cuddle!

No breed needs your love more than Burdies! Because no breed suffers from more health problems. Burdies get that weird black eye gunk little white dogs get, but they get it all over their body for some reason. They have long, luxurious coats that require constant brushing. God help you if you ever stop brushing. The breed as a whole tends to develop hip dysplasia, ingrown eyes, handmaid's tooth, and extra long nipples. The average life span is three years, but it will probably feel like fifty. They love to play!

Burdies are liars, cheats, and charlatans. Highwaymen of the lowest sort, they frequently impersonate doctors, peddle their ineffective snake oil, then leave town in a battered old cart, never to be seen again. Legend has it that several Burdies banded together to put on a "people suit" and walk among us as the person we call "The Zodiac Killer." This is a falsehood spread by misrepresentation of Burdies in movies and television. With even only six months of careful training, you can prevent your Burdenhund from even developing the urge to make people suits (which is a natural and expected part of their character). They are one of the most intelligent breeds recognized by the American Kennel Club. They are hucksters. And could be your best friend!

With a little love and a little work your new Burdie will be a great new friend. Or powerful enemy. Feed only live prey.