From Caldwell Tanner on
By The 10 Halloween Costumes You'll Wear Through Life
The 10 Halloween Costumes You'll Wear Through Life The Adorable, Homemade Costume Image: A small child wearing an incredibly cute, hand-made t-rex costume. Copy: Your mom spent hours sewing and crafting this insanely intricate outfit that you'll have outgrown by the end of the month. The Cheap, Store-Bought Costume Image: A child wearing a one-sided spider man mask with fake muscles. Copy: It only costs $12.95 at Target and makes your whole body itch, but it's your favorite outfit in the whole wide world and regardless of what your parents say you're definitely wearing it to school on Monday. The Lazy Tween Costume Image: A surly tween wearing a suit and a pair of devil horns. Copy: This costume lets people know that you think Trick-or-Treating is dumb and that you're way too old for all this baby stuff while also allowing you still rake in a pillowcase full of fun-sized bars. The perfect plan! The Ambitious, Homemade Costume Image: A teen wearing an incredible Cloud Strife costume, complete with cardboard Buster Sword and hair gelled anime spikes. Copy: You might have your doubts about it at first, but all the blood, sweat and mild brain damage from silver spray-paint will totally be worth it when a bunch of people you only sort-of know nod approvingly at you for one night of the year. The Really Expensive Store-Bought Costume Image: A guy in an amazing Boba Fett costume. He is standing in a corner, sweating. Copy: The perfect costume, and totally worth the five-prom-tuxedo price! Just don't spill anything on it, or sweat in it, or rip it, or have any fun in any way whatsoever or you'll be forced to pay a spoOoOokily expensive dry-cleaning fee. The Group Costume Image: A group is dressed as The Belcher's from Bob's Burgers. The guy is dressed as Gene, and is standing apart from the rest of the group, looking confused. Copy: The most dangerous gambit of them all. Even if you pull it off, chances are you'll end up getting separated from the group and then your brilliant teamwork no longer makes any sense. It's like doing a group project for school, except everyone's too drunk to run the powerpoint. The Lazy College Costume Image: A guy wearing a suit and tie with a superman tee-shirt underneath stands next to two other guys with the same idea. Copy: You weren't sure if this was a real costume party, or just a "costume" party so you tried to have your cake and wear it too by choosing a super easy outfit. The Couples Costume Image: A guy and girl wearing a Cloud Strife / Tifa Lockheart costume combo, they look great and everything is great. Copy: The only thing better than wearing a stupid, elaborate costume is convincing someone else to do it with you. Sure it might be a big commitment, but in the end it'll bring your party closer together. The Couples Costume +1 Image: An older guy and girl wearing the same costume as before, but now they're holding a baby wearing a Chocobo costume. Copy: Time to overcompensate for not being able to go to Halloween parties anymore by making your entire Facebook feed a party dedicated to how goddamn cute your kids are. The Actual Thing You Used to Wear That is Now Somehow a Costume Image: An older guy dressed like a dorky hipster (bow tie, glasses, skinny-jeans etc..) He is opening the door on a bunch of laughing trick or treaters. Copy: Your past has come back to haunt you.