7 Pop Stars And The Perfect Songs for Them to Cover

What He Should Cover

"Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson


Why It Makes Sense

Justin and Michael are two peas in a pod! Both are former child stars, both have spent much of their lives trying to transition to a different race, and both sexualize children. Also, since the Biebs has already had the first of what I'm sure will be many paternity suits, "Billie Jean" is the perfect fit. 

 

7 Pop Stars And The Perfect Songs for Them to Cover

What She Should Cover  

"The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson


Why It Makes Sense 

While the two artists seem like they're from two different worlds, they're secretly the same person. They're both artists who look like demons and who combine terrible rapping, terrible singing, and random screams. Seriously, the only thing separating the two is Manson shoving a large pillow down his pants. 

 

7 Pop Stars And The Perfect Songs for Them to Cover

What She Should Cover 

"Swing Low Sweet Chariot"


Why It Makes Sense

If every blog on the internet ever is to be believed, the natural next step in Miley Cyrus's slutty, cultural-appropriating career is for her to whip out her boobs, grab a microphone shaped like a dildo and perform this classic negro spiritual as a catchy mid-tempo ballad. 

 

7 Pop Stars And The Perfect Songs for Them to Cover

What She Should Cover 

The Folgers Coffee Theme Song

Why It Makes Sense

Think about it. Just like a Folgers Coffee commercial, all Perry's songs are catchy, inspirational, and seem to be selling a food product in some way. 



 

7 Pop Stars And The Perfect Songs for Them to Cover

What She Should Cover

The "Clarissa Explains It All" Theme Song

Why It Makes Sense

A rough estimate suggests that 50% of the lyrics in Rihanna's songs are just the nonsense syllable "na." Why not bump that number up to 100% by covering this classic, 90's kid-com theme?

 

 

7 Pop Stars And The Perfect Songs for Them to Cover

What She Should Cover

"The Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers

Why It Makes Sense

I mean, that's what all her other songs sound like. 

 

 

7 Pop Stars And The Perfect Songs for Them to Cover

What She Should Cover 

"Don't Think Twice It's Alright" by Bob Dylan 

Why It Makes Sense

Hahaha, sorry. I couldn't resist. That was just a joke because the thought of Ke$ha covering a Bob Dylan song is just too ridic... it exists?...  ... I think we're done here...