"Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson
Justin and Michael are two peas in a pod! Both are former child stars, both have spent much of their lives trying to transition to a different race, and both sexualize children. Also, since the Biebs has already had the first of what I'm sure will be many paternity suits, "Billie Jean" is the perfect fit.
"The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson
While the two artists seem like they're from two different worlds, they're secretly the same person. They're both artists who look like demons and who combine terrible rapping, terrible singing, and random screams. Seriously, the only thing separating the two is Manson shoving a large pillow down his pants.
"Swing Low Sweet Chariot"
If every blog on the internet ever is to be believed, the natural next step in Miley Cyrus's slutty, cultural-appropriating career is for her to whip out her boobs, grab a microphone shaped like a dildo and perform this classic negro spiritual as a catchy mid-tempo ballad.
The Folgers Coffee Theme Song
Think about it. Just like a Folgers Coffee commercial, all Perry's songs are catchy, inspirational, and seem to be selling a food product in some way.
The "Clarissa Explains It All" Theme Song
A rough estimate suggests that 50% of the lyrics in Rihanna's songs are just the nonsense syllable "na." Why not bump that number up to 100% by covering this classic, 90's kid-com theme?
"The Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers
I mean, that's what all her other songs sound like.
"Don't Think Twice It's Alright" by Bob Dylan
Hahaha, sorry. I couldn't resist. That was just a joke because the thought of Ke$ha covering a Bob Dylan song is just too ridic... it exists?... ... I think we're done here...