There are always those people in life that you never forget. After countless hours of reflection, which mostly consists of crying about your failures, it finally hits you. At any moment, these were the people that made you feel better about your life, because as bad as it got, they always had it worst.
Middle School: The Kid Who Goes Swimming With His Shirt On
You all know him. At the birthday parties that consisted of seeing girls in bikinis for the first time, you always knew you didn't have it as bad as him. While he spent hours watching Star Trek (episodes 14-73), you were busy not getting fat. It finally paid off, and now he's "That Guy" that goes swimming with his shirt on. Yes, he's doing cannon balls, but mostly he's just in the corner of the pool sulking about his life. Some of the girls are friends with him, but mostly out of pity. When Johnny Quarterback has the hot girls circling around him in the pool, and you think about what a tool you are, you glance over and know one thing, "At least I don't have my shirt on."
High School: The Shadow Friend
Did you ever wonder how you and your friends could be talking, and this kid is always right there? I'm not talking about being on the outskirts of the conversation; I'm talking about standing right in the circle with you guys. Do you even know his name? Harold, maybe? Anyways, he shows up to all your parties, carefully participates in some of the conversations you have, and even sits with you at lunch. None of your friends claim to be friends with him, and despite the fact that he shows up to all the parties, nobody you know hangs out with him alone. When he approaches you alone in the hall, you just sorta smirk and look around to see if anyone sees you two talking, and you know you need to plan an escape route quickly. But no matter what happens, you can't get rid of him. He's always there.
College: The Pregnant Girl
If you're a guy you got lucky here. Unless you got the girl pregnant, but if you did, you can always change your number and transfer. The reality is the girl's life is over unless she magically gets un-pregnant. She will tell herself that she can get back into school, and although she can, she never will. If she has strong moral fiber, she will probably stop drinking. The boyfriend will try to drown the baby by slipping vodka in her cereal, but she's way to smart for that. The only plus to this girl is you know she's easy, but it's not worth the commitment she wants. When all of your friends are picking beer pong teams and you feel like the last kid getting picked in dodge ball, you remember that you're not pregnant and smile.
College Alumni: The Guy Who Keeps Coming Back
You know who this guy is, we all do. He's definitely over 25, and is probably kicking 30's door down. Everyone else has moved on with their life, because that's what you do after college, except he doesn't get it. 90% of the time he's in a fraternity and will tell the pledges they aren't cool enough, but they all laugh behind his back since he's as old as their father. If he spent more time working instead of hanging out on campus, he'd probably not be making $22,000 a year at Best Buy.
Note To Seniors: If you come back, only show up for Homecoming, and bring other alumni. Don't convince yourself underclassmen want you around.