The great American author James Baldwin once stated in defense of what he called Black English that humans, "evolve a language in order to describe and thus control their circumstances."
In some situations this may prove beneficial and therepeutic for various segments of society. Today, however, we are faced with a darker, far more harmful dialect that is evolving in sorority houses around the nation as we speak. I am talking about Abbrevs, which, if you don't speak stupid, stands for Abbreviations.
It is really a bigger problem than you might even suspect. Here, try decoding this sentence spoken almost entirely in abbrevs by a college coed just the other day:
"Well, me and the wem, were drinkin the vod on fri, and Tracy got a little belig, and started to M.O. on Ali's bo, which is so ridick, so we had to have a convo, before Ali got word of it, and went FT. You know, friendship terminated?"
I know it's tough to stomach. I just threw up all over my new futon. But we have to know the enemy if we're ever going to bring them down. We used to only have to worry about use of words like "Awesome" or "Radical" each popularized by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
But now we are dealing with a far more covert and nefarious operation. Here are some of the most common words and phrases (along with their meanings) that are infecting sorority girls today.
BFF outsiders interpret it as Best Friends Forever, but when sorority girls use the word BFF they actually mean: a girl who I once met at a party and found out I hooked up with her cousin; Example: "Oh my God, Alison and I are like BFF."
Alternate meanings for BFF include
1) A girl whom you are nice to in public but secretly gossip about to everyone you know; Example: "Oh my God, Allison and I are so BFF." Note the subtle difference in usage and how it can spawn an entirely different meaning.
2) a guy who I'm never going to sleep with; Example: "Mike is such a great friend. We're BFF!"
DTE intended to mean "Down to Earth" Ironically the girls using this term almost always reside on an entirely different planet
Def shortened form of definitely this actually means "not in a million years." Example: "Oh you're having a party tonight? That's so great! I'll def be there!"
More definitions to come.