Feeling clueless about women? Help has arrived! Her words may be cryptic, but her body language is loudly saying, "I want food!" Here are some tips about reading her body language so you'll never be in the dark about if the girl of your dreams is hungry:
Scenario: You're at your favorite bookstore and whom should you see perusing cookbooks but the girl of your dreams. You walk over casually and pretend that you are just seeing her now for the first time. She smiles shyly at you and then her stomach lets out of a loud, audible rumble. Is she hungry?
Decoded: She's hungry. You may be thinking that she's hungry because she is reading a book about cooking food, but appearances can be deceiving. Girls don't buy cookbooks because they are hungry -- they buy cookbooks because they want to eat healthier. Wanting to eat healthier is the opposite of being hungry. Sometimes you need to rely on your other senses, like your ears. Did you hear that loud, audible rumble? That is the girl of your dream's stomach's way of telling you, "Me hungee."
Scenario: You're at your favorite dive bar and you wind up standing right next to the girl of your dreams. It's 8pm. She looks like a beautiful flower growing among the beer bottles. You say, "Hey wow, you look like a beautiful flower among the beer bottles." She smiles politely and says, "Mhmm. Mmmm, they have cheesy tots here. I skipped dinner. Maybe I will get some." Is she hungry?
Decoded: You better believe she's hungry. A recent very scientific study shows that the majority of humans need to eat food regularly. Time to use your science! First, observe that she is talking about ordering food. Next, ask yourself how long has it been since she last ate. Finally, take into consideration that she is a human. You can hypothesize that she is ready to go nom nom nom nom.
NOTE: Reading body language is not a science, but science helps it and explains most of it.
Scenario: You're at your favorite dentist's office and guess who is reading an old Food Network magazine across the waiting room: the girl of your dreams. She is full-on drooling. Buckets of drool are dripping from her mouth. Glistening, wet, and viscous are all words you would use to describe the drool. Is she hungry?
Decoded: SHE IS SO HUNGRY! Did you notice the drool? You have to pay attention to her face. Right now, her face is saying, "I am drooling because I am hungry." Lots of guys want to stare right at her stomach to figure out if she is hungry but if you do, you are going to miss out on important body language. You may also be thinking, but wait, people drool in dentist's offices all the time. The dentist's office detail was a red herring meant to confuse you. It's not important.
Scenario: You're in your favorite bedroom at your house, and you're getting undressed and who should you happen to run into but the girl of your dreams! She looks at you and she says, "Mama's got a hunger." She slips out of her dress and is completely nude in front of you. You can see all of her ribs but not in an unhealthy way. Her eyes are full of want, but is she hungry?
Decoded: Bad news. She's not hungry. She just wants to have sex with you. Tough break. The good news is that after the hours and hours of mind-blowingly good sex you are about to have, she will probably be hungry again.
This powerful information is yours to wield. Now get out there, find the girl of your dreams, and give her a sandwich.