Hi. Nice to meet you!
Hi. Nice meet you. Please act overly familiar with me and over share as though we were already friends.
I want you to meet my friend, [Insert Name Of The Speaker's Romantically Preferred Gender]!
I want you to meet my friend, [Insert Name Of The Speaker's Romantically Preferred Gender]! As I'm sure you've already assumed I'm secretly in love with them. Help me! Please do what I never could and jumpstart our romance. You're my only hope!
Hey, I think you might need to pace yourself a little.
I think that political discourse in this country has taken a turn for the worse.
I'm a big boring jerk. Just nod along with me and pretend you're following this conversation.
I'm actually going through a hard time right now, and I really need someone to talk to.
We should totally order chicken wings right now.
Hey, can you pass me those chips?
Hey, can you pass me those chips? I'm not sure you can because you're such a drunken loser. Everyone here hates you and you should start sulking.
I think maybe it would be best if you left.
I'm testing our friendship right now. Insist on staying and prove that you love me.