You have successfully spent your entire weekend sitting on the couch, eating chips and binge watching all of Veep.
Starting next season, you may join the weekly live airing, and are now able to discuss the episodes online in real time, without fearing spoilers.
You showed Michael Jordan-type abilities by hitting the trash can perfectly.
You may now move the trash can three inches further, for a more difficult level of game.
*Special Token Earned: M.V.P - Most Valuable Paper. (No, really. You shouldn't have thrown that. It was an important contract).
You demonstrated amazing mental Capability by punching in your bank code on the first try.
You may delete from your phone the highly clever contact "Agent Code-y Banks" containing a fake phone number that has your pin number as the last four digits.
You proved incredible strength by carrying nine bags in each hand, without dropping anything.
You may now eat your well earned Mars Bar.
You skillfully broke an egg and are now on your way towards becoming a professional chef!
You may now eat your eggs without cutting your esophagus.
You proved your superior intelligence is no less than that of Stephen Hawking or Albert Einstein, by getting all the definitions right all by yourself.
You may now read the funnies.
You have masterfully aimed your pee directly to the bowl.
You don't have to clean the seat, nor do you have pee on your leg.
*Special Token Earned: Whiz Master/ Whiz Palace King/ Whiz Khalifa.
(Illustrated by: Tom Trager)