"Simulations back up theory that Universe is a hologram. [...] A team of physicists has provided some of the clearest evidence yet that our Universe could be just one big projection." - Nature, December 10th, 2013


The Universe is a Hologram

First proposed by: Theoretical physicist Juan Maldacena in 1997

Rationale: At a black hole, Einstein's theory of gravity clashes with quantum physics; an alternative model of the Universe in which gravity arises from infinitesimally thin, vibrating strings, which exist in nine dimensions of space plus one of time, would interpret the seen Universe as a hologram, allowing for another non-projected and "flatter" cosmos where there is no gravity.


The Universe is Inside a Marble

First proposed by: Isaac Greyson after seeing Men In Black in theatres in 1997 while high

Rationale: "Dudes...wait. Did you see at the end when it, like, zoomed out and then, like, everything was just...in a marble? What if that was, like...real? Like we were in a marble. It would explain so much...like tides and car crashes and shit. Woah."


The Universe is a Dream

First proposed by: Emma Berner after napping through 12th grade English class while high

Rationale: "So when you're dreaming, you don't know you're dreaming, and everything just seems real. So if things seem real right now...like...they also seemed real while I was dreaming...but in my dream I had lobsters instead of hands and that seemed normal but now that I've woken up I know that is ridiculous, but maybe I'll wake up from this level and maybe having hands for hands will seem just as ridiculous, you know? Have you seen Inception? Or Waking Life? I haven't seen either of those films, but I feel like they both probably support what I'm saying."

The Universe is a Skatepark

First proposed by: Coop Bookerstein after hearing OPM's "Heaven Is A Halfpipe" for the first time in 2001 while high

Rationale: (quietly said to self while clutching World Industries skateboard to chest) "It would be so cool if this song were true."

The Universe is a Reality TV Show

First proposed by: Sterling Rankin after watching The Truman Show in 1998 with his parents while high

Rationale: "Mom...dad...you'd tell me if my life was just a reality TV show, right? Wait...you probably couldn't tell me because you'd get in trouble...okay, mom...MOM...just blink three times real fast if my life is not a reality show...mom, you didn't blink...OH SWEET JESUS NOOOOO!!!!!"

The Universe is an MMORPG

First proposed by: GrizzledTank aka Joe Warren after playing "World Of Warcraft: Mists Of Pandaria" expansion while high


(excerpted from in-game chat)

GrizzledTank: Hold up hold up hold up

GrizzledTank: Before we do this raid

GrizzledTank: I was just thinking...

GrizzledTank: Maybe everything is just a massive multiplayer online role playing game

GrizzledTank: And other beings are at the controls playing us right now

DarknessReaver897: Like in that Onion video World Of World Of Warcraft?

GrizzledTank: Yeah exactly!!

DarknessReaver897: The Onion is fake dude.

GrizzledTank: Dude I know that, but it doesn't mean they couldn't have accidentally stumbled upon something true, like the discovery of penicillin, you know?

DarknessReaver897: Dude, are you high?

GrizzledTank: Yes, but you know I hate it when you dismiss my ideas because I'm high. You're such a jerk sometimes, Greg.

DarknessReaver897: Don't you mean the person playing me in the "Universe MMORPG" is a jerk?

GrizzledTank: Yes. That is exactly what I mean.

--DarknessReaver897 has signed off--

The Universe was Created by a Big Bang

First proposed by: Georges Lemaitre in 1927 in what he called his "hypothesis of the primeval atom" (often misattributed to Edwin Hubble)

Rationale: "Yo...what if like...13 billion years ago things were all super hot and dense and stuff...and then, like, all that shit just started expanding super rapidly...and then that hot shit starts to cool enough to allow energy to be converted into various subatomic particles, you know? Like if everything just got started with this like...large...pop...or something... Yo, Edwin Hubble, why are you writing down everything I'm saying?"