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People assume clubs are fun because they have alcohol in them, but that really does not justify their existence. Lots of places sell alcohol these days and most of them don't charge a cover. Those places also don't require you to wade through massive crowds of people for long stretches of time, while listening to music so hellishly loud it causes you physical pain, just to get your booze. I don't think anyone actually like clubs, so much as we all just go there in hopes of meeting someone. If we could all just agree, here and now, to meet in other places (Laser tag arenas perhaps?) I think the world would be a much happier place. 

 

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Eating at a fancy restaurant is the food equivalent of listening to classical music: While there's no doubt that some people do genuinely enjoy it, most just do it because they're trying to project a certain image about themselves to the world. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that pan-seared scallop in a fennel cream sauce is delicious, but do you know what's a million times more delicious?  Pizza. Grilled cheese. Chicken fingers. Microwave nachos. Really just about any tasty comfort food that for some reason society has decided is too delicious to be considered "classy". Those foods also don't cost you thirty dollars, and you don't have to get dressed in your most uncomfortable clothing just to eat them. 

 

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I'll say it: Live music is never as good as its studio counterpart. I don't even think that's an opinion. It's scientific fact. Sue me. Seriously, when you think about it, music studios basically only exist to engineer songs so that they sound impossibly perfect by the time they get to you. With that in mind, why would anyone want to pay fifty bucks to go and listen to a worse version of something they can hear for free at home? It makes no sense. Even if live music did sound better, concerts would still suck. Most of the time, the majority of the music you hear at a concert isn't even coming from the musician you're there to see at all. It's from all the annoying fans around you who insist on singing along.

 

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Movies are awesome. Nobody's here to argue otherwise. Going to the movies, however, is just godawful. Not only do you have to pay a bunch of money to do it, but what you're paying for is just a less pleasant version of what you could be doing at home. I mean, seriously, have you sat in a movie theatre seat recently? It's impossible to get comfortable in one of those bastards. It's like someone stole all the chairs from an elementary school, put a thin layer of foam on top of them and called it a day. I'll stick to my couch, thank you very much. 

 

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Going to brunch sounds like the greatest idea in the world, on a Saturday night, when you're drunk and still happy. When you wake up hungover the next morning, however, it's a different story. Not only do you have to drag yourself out of you warm, cozy bed, but then you have to go to the restaurant, and wait for at least a half an hour, because for some reason long waits are an unwritten law of brunch. Then when you finally do sit down, what's your reward? Eggs? Yeah, not worth it.