You are the non-confrontational type, which is why you keep your parents up to date on your academic shortcomings over text message. Before your professor even begins reviewing the midterm she has just handed back, you are putting the finishing touches on an apology text ripe with frowny emojis. This way, when you return home for the semester, your parents are already fully aware of the deplorable grounds on which you stand.
You are a bold and unafraid pioneer of upfrontness who confidently sits your parents down for an uncomfortable, lose-lose conversation that ends in frustration and disappointment. Though you enter the conversation with the poise and mental strength of a heavyweight fighter, you get knocked down peg after peg as you are reminded of how they, not you, are writing tuition checks, making an investment in a future that you are actively ruining.
You tell them to their faces... right after you get back from that concert you've been just DYING to go to. You understand that there are consequences to your actions, which is exactly why you wait to drop the bomb of your Anthropology grade until after you see Tegan and Sarah perform a small venue concert for forty people. You have the backbone to confront your parents provided you first utilize ruthless cunning to manipulate and trick them.
You are a proactive self-starter who avoids the uncomfortable conversation by illegally changing your C's and D's into A's and B's. Whether you hack, bribe, or just know a guy, you make up for your disgraceful book smarts with street smarts that would have the creator of The Wire drooling.
You are a Golden Globe nominee for Best Supporting Bullshitter. Using your dumb looking face to your advantage, you plead ignorance to the whole 'grades' thing and assert you have no idea when those are supposed to come out. In reality, they remain in the envelope you recieved them in, tucked snugly underneath your DVD box set of Lie to Me beneath your bed.
You pull up your grades online, pour yourself a drink, and reserve a spot in the unemployment line as you wait for your parents to get home and see it.