undefined  

  1. Salesperson

    Ok, so your total comes to $200,000.

  2. You

    Oh, wow. That seems pricey for a Corolla.

  3. Salesperson

    Trust me, it will be worth it. Think of this as an investment.

  4. You

    But can you even guarantee that I'll still be using it in four years?

  5. Salesperson

    Look, the stuff you're going to learn and the memories you're going to make in this car will stay with you forever. Things like that are priceless.

  6. You

    I thought you said it was $200,000.

  7. Salesperson

    You know what I mean.

  8. You

    Well, look, I only have about $50,000 in savings right now.

  9. Salesperson

    No problem, just take out a loan for the rest of it! You won't have to pay any of that money back until the future! And who the hell knows if that will ever even get here?

  10. You

    Hmm, that's a good point. I guess I'm in.

  11. Salesperson

    Wonderful! You won't regret this.

  12. Five years later...
  13. Salesperson

    Hey, my main man! How's it going?

  14. You

    Oh, uh, hi. Things are pretty good, I guess.

  15. Salesperson

    Nice! So listen, how would you feel about giving Toyota a few more bucks?

  16. You

    ... You mean, like, in exchange for another product?

  17. Salesperson

    No.

  18. You

    ... So you just want me to give you money again?

  19. Salesperson

    Yes.

  20. You

    Are you... are you fucking kidding me? You know I still owe the government about $140,000 for that stupid Corolla, right? Not to mention the fact that I've barely used it at all since moving to New York. And that all that "stuff" you said I was going to learn in it pretty much just boiled down to "Don't trust your roommate when he tells you how good he is at driving stoned." So I guess I feel pretty damn poorly about giving Toyota a few more bucks.

  21. Salesperson

    Alright, alright, let's just calm down for a second.

  22. You

    Also, how did you find out where I live? You know it's kinda weird for a salesperson from five years ago to just show up at your doorstep, right?

  23. Salesperson

    Don't worry about that. Look, you're part of a community of Corolla owners now, ok? And that purchase is an indelible part of your identity. It's going to stick with you for the rest of your life.

  24. You

    Actually, I'm starting to find that the further away I get from my purchase, the less people ask me about it.

  25. Salesperson

    Sorry, I couldn't hear that last thing you said. Anyway, don't you think it's in your best interest to make sure that Toyota continues to have enough money to keep the Corolla brand as prestigious as possible? In the long term, it's only going to make you and your purchase look that much better!

  26. You

    But you're still getting money, right? I mean, people are still buying Corollas, aren't they?

  27. Salesperson

    Well... yes, they are. But we'd like more money, that's all. Besides, you kind of owe us after all we've done for you.

  28. You

    Really. Because I thought I just owed you $200,000 for the car. Which I've paid.

  29. Salesperson

    Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!!!!!!!!!

  30. You

    Oh, for fuck's sake, fine. How much do you want?

  31. Salesperson

    Well, you purchased your car in 2009. So, in honor of that, how about a nice, round donation of $2,009?

  32. You

    I'm gonna give you five bucks.

  33. Salesperson

    OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH THANK YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANKYOU THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  34. You

    It's fine. Now will you get out of here? I've got to be at work soon, and the subway comes in five minutes.

  35. Salesperson

    No problem.

  36. The next day...
  37. Salesperson

    Hey there, buckaroo! How's life? I couldn't help but remember you saying you had to go to work yesterday. How about sending some of that nice fat paycheck over to Toyota, eh?

  38. You

    You know, I think I'm just gonna move.