By Caldwell Tanner
How Long it Takes You to Respond to an Email (and What That Says about You) Image: A simple chart made to resemble a gmail interface. UNDER A MINUTE - Expecting an exciting new LinkedIn Endorsement there, hotshot? Face it, you're an F5 Certified Refresh-a-holic. A FEW MINUTES - As the King of Prompt and Circumstance, you find anything less than inbox zero completely unacceptable. OVER AN HOUR - You're so busy writing emails that you can barely keep up with the ones piling in! SUCH IS THE DELICATE DANCE WE CALL LIFE. WITHIN A DAY - You're a responsible responder. From finding the perfect funny .gif to choosing a custom signature, you lovingly craft each and every email you send. Sure it takes time, but it's worth it.* *It is not at all worth it and actually loses your company valuable money A FEW DAYS - You're just having one of those weeks. It's cool. We get it. ONE WEEK - This is starting to get out of hand, but worry not! Just add "Sorry for the Delay!" to your email's introduction, and all will be forgiven. MULTIPLE WEEKS - Clearly you're important. You probably have an office and everything. Whatever simpleton thought they could just barf words all over your pristine inbox is just gonna have to WAIT. ONE MONTH - You done f*cked up. You're gonna need to pull out all the stops and drop a huge apology bomb right up top. Something like "Yikes! So Sorry for the Late Reply" should do the trick. OVER A MONTH - Either you hate the person who sent this email or you're in a coma. MULTIPLE MONTHS - You just woke up from a coma and in a moment of grace decided to forgive the person you hate by finally responding to that email they sent you. OVER A YEAR Alt. You planned on never responding to this email, but now a fate worse than death has surfaced: You need a favor from the person who sent it.