So, what brings you in today?
Okay, it's probably nothing. But I've noticed that I've been coughing up a lot of blood. Like I said, probably nothing but figured, "Eh, the doctor's right here. I'll swing in."
I see. Well, are you getting plenty of rest? Taking care of yourself?
No. I'm pretty much just going about my usual day, but now I carry an old, dirty handkerchief with me and every once in a while I'll cough into it so I can look at all the blood that's coming out of me. Then, I'll stare into the distance, as if watching a life not yet lived, and silently crumple the handkerchief back into my pocket.
And this makes you feel better?
Well, I don't think this is too serious unless you're in one of our high-risk groups. You aren't a struggling parent, prostitute with a heart of gold, or broken human just now relearning how to love, are you?
Actually, I'm all three.
Oh. That's bad. I'd be surprised if you were still alive before two hours have passed. Maybe two and half.
But everything was going so well for the first time in a long time! And this cough thing came out of nowhere.
Yes, this disease usually affects those who have had a sudden improvement in their quality of life, as well as innocent working class people callously trampled by the upper classes.
What do I have anyway?
It doesn't really matter. The important thing is that you're clearly dying and we know it. This is a class of diseases known as CPDs, or convenient plot devices. This includes consumption, cancer, and a wide array of respiratory disease.
Isn't there something you can do? I don't want to die.
I don't know. Honestly no one ever tries before they're practically dead already.
But I've been keeping this terrible cough a secret from the man who is teaching me to love again. If I die, he'll find out for sure.
Wait... why are you keeping this a secret from him?
Right, well, if I were you I would head straight home and tell him how much he's changed your life between slow labored breaths.
If that's what you suggest. Is it common, this disease?
Far, far more common than it should be.