If you're like me (an emotionally stunted adult) you've probably spent some time wishing you could live in the world of Pokemon. However, though living in the Pokemon universe  seems cool on paper, it would be terrible in practice. Here's why:

 

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For as cool as it would be to get your hands on a real live Charmander, before you do so, you'd have to deal with years of the hell that is living in the Pokemon universe without a Pokemon. I mean, think about it. Pretty much all the games start with the protagonist (whose name is probably Butt) trying to walk through some grass, only to be stopped by someone saying that it's too dangerous. Think about how fucked up that is. At this point, Butt is presumably old enough to live on his own, and yet he's spent the vast majority of his life confined to this small town because the world he lives in is so full of horrifying super beings that the mere act of walking through grass means risking your life.  

 

 

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Even once you get your Pokemon and conquer grass, the world would still be scary. This is because on top of being overrun with swarms of magical creatures, the world is a hotbed of criminal activity as well. Every region of the world has its own massive crime syndicate, all of which come shockingly close to taking over the world. What's worse is the fact that, though crime is rampant, the police force seems to be practically non-existent. I mean sure, they show up every now and then to block a road, but when it's time to save the world, do the do jack crap? No, they leave that job to a young, vigilante trainer and his lever 52 Blastoise.

 

 

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When you think about what it'd be like to be in the Pokemon universe, odds are you're picturing yourself as a gym leader, a member of the elite four, or even, dare I say, a champion. But while it's true that there is no shortage of interesting characters, the vast majority of trainers in the universe are boring carbon copies of one another, who lead extremely tedious lives. For every gym leader, there are like 100 Youngsters  and Lasses. First off, why are there a bunch of easily classifiable, physically identical people roaming the earth? Second, imagine how awful that would be. I mean, best case scenario, you're one of those douchbag Ace Trainers, and you have to live your life knowing there's nothing unique about you, and all you do is wait for the one interesting person in the world to come defeat you. Then all you do is stand in the same place for the rest of you existence repeating the same phrase over and over again. It's sad. 

 

 

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For as much as living in the Pokemon world would suck, dying in it would be infinitely worse. Though no one knows for sure what makes Ghost-type Pokemon, a lot of the Pokedex entries suggest that they're manifestations of dead people,  just like the ghosts in our world. This means that the afterlife in the Pokemon universe consists of turning into some specie of animal, losing the vast majority of their ability to talk, and forced to engage in a series of brutal battles for the rest of your existence. That Yamask of yours may very well could have been someone's grandmother, and now she's doomed to spend eternity being poisoned, paralyzed, and set on fire. If that's not hell, I don't know what is.