Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
26 Ways to Show Your Love for God
January 24, 2014
1. Say a prayer.
2. Do something nice for someone else.
3. Give to charity.
4. Say something nice about God.
5. Say something nice to God.
6. Send God a text.
7. Send God a Snap Chat.
8. Meet up with God, casually, you know, for lunch at a Creperie or something.
9. Bring God flowers; the kind that God likes. You know, the kind that God mentioned at the Creperie.
10. Ask God what God is doing this weekend and see if God can come over to your apartment-warming party.
11. When God comes to your party, act like you're busy for the first half hour, then casually stroll over and talk to God for the rest of the night.
12. Take God up to the roof of your building and show God the awesome view of the city that you have.
13. Put your arm around God and see if God responds to it.
14. Lean in slowly and then to kiss God. If God seems receptive, kiss more.
15. Text God later saying something like "Hey God, that was really cool, we should hang out again some time."
16. Take God out to a more formal dinner and then a movie. Maybe go to that alternative movie theater with the documentaries and leather couches.
17. Pay for God's Chai tea and don't get mad if God spills. Just play it cool. God will appreciate that.
18. Ask if God is looking for something a little more serious.
19. Explain to God that you have been hurt before, but that you feel different about God.
20. Introduce God to your parents.
21. Go on an overnight trip to Napa with God. Maybe go wine tasting or on a couple of hikes with God, you know, something simple, but romantic.
22. Ask God where God thinks this is going.
23. Propose to God by putting a ring in God's champagne at that formal restaurant you went to on the night when God spilled Chai tea all over you at the movie theater.
24. Send out wedding invitations with God. Use God's favorite colors because you got to choose the font.
25. Marry God at that beach-front country club that your parents belong to. Choose a wedding date in April when the flowers are starting to bloom.
26. Tell God that you love God and that you always will. Pull God's veil from God's face and for the love of God, kiss God right on the mouth.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.