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I'll just sit here with my $300 headphones blasting whatever shit I know will piss off the most people around me while showing off how unique my tastes are. It's either heavy metal or hardcore rap. My ears might not work thirty years from now, but at least I don't have to listen to the bus driver telling people to move to the back.

 

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Yes, the space on this bus is limited and there's a perfectly good window seat that's currently occupied with my bag. I'm just an aisle person, you know? I'm sure if you asked me for the seat I would gladly get up and have us all uncomfortably manoeuvre around these strangers so you could sit down, but you're not going to ask for those very reasons. I dare you.

 

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Out of my way everybody! I just have to get out of this bus the second, nay, the instant this bus comes to a stop. This class I have is just too important for me to exhibit even the slightest bit of patience. Once our bus starts slowing down for its stop I am getting up from my seat and shuffling my way through you all to be the one who pushes the button to open the doors. You'd understand if I had the time to explain to you how important I am.

 

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What's that? It seems like you're trying to say something but you can't on account of my bag being shoved down your throat. Look, we're all trying to get somewhere and being a little crammed is just part of riding the bus. It's not my fault that I'm unaware as to how much less space I could be taking if I put my bag by my feet, and for being completely oblivious as to how awful a person I am.

 

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Well I'm settled and can't wait for what should be a nice journey using our public transportation system. Whoa, that seat over there is empty with plenty of space away from the ugly people I'm sandwiched in right now. Time to make a move. Hey now, an open seat right next to the door, I could even beat The First One Out! Boom, what an upgrade, I, the Master of Seat Selection have just undertaken. Those glares are glares of envy.

 

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Hey, I know we're only sitting next to each other because of complete random chance, but I'm just going to start talking to you anyway. Oh, you're listening to music you say? That's all right, I'll just keep asking you questions that you in no way can hear until you feel uncomfortable enough to take out the earpieces and partake in this conversation. Hell, if I don't talk to you, complete stranger, who would I ever get to talk to?