ABDIEL
 


Abdiel has built a rep for running his mouth, and has repeatedly esteemed himself as the best receiver in the league, despite having nowhere near the numbers to back it up. Be prepared for this Labrador Retriever/Terrier Mix to underdeliver on the field, and then mouth off in post-game recaps about foul play. He's a garbage player with an attitude to match, and doesn't deserve the spotlight he's been given.

 




AURORA


Aurora is a tragic example of a once-spectacular defense player who has paid the price of a few too many rough hits. And while she undoubtedly leaves it all on the field when it comes to the game itself, Aurora regularly gets confused, falls over, and loses track of where she is and who she's playing for. Call me crazy, but I don't think a good game is worth keeping a troubled and borderline-disabled player at risk. It's a moral issue. The Puppy Bowl should know better.

 




ULLIE


Ullie is more of a question mark than anything. A second round draft pick, this twelve-week-old Dachsund/Chihuahua Mix once had the potential to be one of the best runningbacks in the past five years. But after some crucial and embarrassing fumbles in the playoffs, she's quickly become a laughing stock. Sunday will tell whether her sterling college play can rear its head again, but it's looking increasingly unlikely. She's got a lot to prove under tremendous pressure, and at this point, she should maybe start packing her bags.

 

 



PONG


There's one thing on Pong's mind going into Sunday's game: Pong, and Pong alone. This guy is ego personified, a selfish and brutish player who doesn't seem to understand the meaning of the word "team." And look, as far as athletes go, there are few better. His physical prowess is outstanding. But this Havenese Mix simply does not have the mental game down, and has been known to blow a fuse under pressure. His swagger can't stand the heat of a championship game, and with one bad call, he's going to pop like a balloon.

 





LILY


By all accounts, Lily is an unusually personable and generous player, whose community outreach and charity work has earned her a reputation as one of the most big-hearted players in the game. But let's be honest here -- the dog can't play football. If the Puppy Bowl were about "personality", sure, give her the ring. But it's not, it's about results, and bless her heart, Lily simply cannot deliver, let alone run in a straight line. Get her doing commentary on TV, hell, give her her own show -- just spare us any more heartbreak, and cut her loose.

 

 




COCO


Look, Coco is scum. And talk all you will about leaving personal lives out of the discussion, but the fact of the matter is -- she's a public figure, and if she's going to be on the world stage as part of the biggest sporting event of the year, she needs to get her act together, if it's not too late. Sure, as a kicker, she's undeniable, certainly. But with all the underground gambling rings, the cavorting with prostitutes, the racist bile constantly streaming out of her mouth (as reported by her teammates), and God only knows what else, Coco deserves to be gone. She's a monster, get her out.





Images from AnimalPlanet.com.