Great news, Gentleman! We've just finalized our acquisition of TinyBurger!
Great! But...what exactly is TinyBurger?
It's a small burger chain very popular with the teen demographic. Many teens see them as a McDonald's alternative in a lot of ways.
Perfect! So how much did this little move cost us?
Well they're a small team, only about 50 employees, so it was a real bargain! Only 19 Billion dollars!
Great! I can't wait to welcome them to the McDonald's fam- WAIT DID YOU SAY 19 BILLION DOLLARS?
Yep! Or roughly 380 Million dollars per employee, if you want to think of that way.
I do NOT. Why would you spend so much money on them? What do they have that we don't?
Oh, nothing. Their menu is basically identical, except their burgers are smaller and more easy to handle.
We're the biggest burger company in the world, couldn't we just copy their infrastructure? Or better yet, IMPROVE upon it?
Well we could, but I already bought them, so nah.
(sighing loudly) Are they profitable?
Nope! They're severely bankrupt! They actually give their burgers away for free. It's why teens like them so much.
So just to clarify...
You paid 19 BILLION Dollars to acquire a company with no viable business strategy just because they're popular with teens who have no money?
Are we going to at least start charging money for TinyBurgers to make any of that $19 billion back?
God no! The Teens would hate us if we did that!
What about calling them McTinies? Or maybe changing the logo to make it more cohesive with our brand?
Wow, you're really not getting this, are you? My teen friends would lol so hard if they could hear you right now.
So what, dare I ask, is our plan moving forward?
We just let them continue running their business exactly the way they did, except now...we own it! Brilliant huh?
Definitely. Sounds great. Can you excuse me for a moment?
Geez, some people just have no financial intuition.
Sir! The Burger King Papers just came through! We can officially give away Whoppers for free at all McDonald's now!
Hot Damn! This calls for a celebration!
(smiling painfully) This is how business works.