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There have been so many times when people have they really want to see a movie, but haven't gone yet because they can't find someone to go with them, and it's like why? How exactly is that person going to enhance your experience?  By making you late and making it harder for you to find a seat when you do get there? By leaning over mid-movie and asking a really dumb question about the plot? By just assuming they can have some of your popcorn and then eating really loudly? I mean, honestly. Why do people put such a stigma on going stag? I think if we can all just agree to stop waiting for people to see movies with and just go alone, we'd all be a lot happier.

 

 

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In theory, exercising with a friend seems like a good way to make something that sucks suck a little less, but in practice it's never a good idea. This is because no two friends have ever been at the exact same level of fitness. Either they're going to be in better shape then you, turning your jog into a living hell as you overexert yourself trying to keep up, or they're not as fit as you, meaning you barely break a sweat, and end up wasting your time. Either scenario is not worth the breathy, half conversation you get in return. 

 

 

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I don't want to sound too extreme here, but I think that whoever invented the study group should be executed by firing squad. It seems like a good way to help each other out and make something boring a little more tolerable, but in reality it's just a good way to not get shit done. Not only do people usually just end up distracting each other, but nobody is ever on the same page when it comes to what to study and how fast to study it. When it's over, I'd say that there is never more than one person who has actually gotten anything out of the meeting. Everyone else is left freaking out about failing, and wishing they had just spent (Note: For the record that first sentence was a joke. I don't really want to murder the person who invented study groups. It's an old practice, and I assume they're already dead. I actually think we should just desecrate their grave in some way.)

 

 

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Sorry, children in 90's sitcoms, but hanging with your friends is not really the most fun thing you can do. It doesn't matter how in synch you are with your buddies, there will always be point in which one of you is ready to leave and one of you wants to stay, and if you're the one who wants to leave it SUCKS. Look, I have never and will never experience the pain of childbirth, but I think I can safely say that it pales in comparison to the pain that comes when you're forced to continue shopping for one second more than you want. That horrible feeling is certainly not worth having a friend around just to spare your feelings by lying when you ask if you look good in these pants. 

 

 

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I've never understood why we eat in groups, but I assume it's a hold over from the days when we hunted in packs and spent our days protecting our young from wooly mammoths. Not only does eating occupy your mouth, making conversation that much more difficult, but it's  also just plain gross. It's really just pooping in reverse when you think about it. I mean have you ever watched someone eat a hotdog with too much ketchup on it? It's literally the worst thing in the world. Then, to try and make a dining with one another more tolerable, society has invented these pesky things called "manners," which, while they work to make eating more tolerable to look at, also make eating a whole lot less fun. I mean ask yourself, at the end of the day which would you really rather do: Get all dressed up and eat a meal in which you dab your mouth with a napkin after every bite and stress about which fork to use, or sit shirtless and alone in the dark as you voraciously tear into a full rack of ribs? Yeah, that's what I thought.