We can't all afford to go on an island getaway. Not all of us have the money or the time. But one thing we do all have is an imagination! Here is the best way to use that brain of yours in order to be transported to the island destination of your dreams.

undefined

Step One:


Slip on your comfiest, warmest sweats. Light some tropical-smelling aromatherapy candles and bask in the scent of the islands. Rest your mind and your body by sitting directly in front of your space heater and blasting it in your face. Breathe in that sweet, hot air and imagine you're walking on the beach.Take out that joint from your sweatpants pocket and get ready to be transported to that Cancun vacation you've been dreaming of, but this time, WITHOUT the sunburn.

undefined

Step Two:


Turn on some tropical island music and slip into a swimsuit. Hula your way to the bathroom and draw a bath with the water on the hottest possible pre-scalding temperature. Pour in some coconut oil and close your eyes. Let the water wash over you and imagine you're snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef. Then get out your little baggy of shrooms and chow down. You'll be seeing colorful clownfish and bright, beautiful coral in no time. 

undefined

Step Three:


Wrap yourself in a blanket and sit on top of your radiator, creating a tropical heat tent. Suddenly, you've been transported to a jungle island getaway. Imagine you're camping out for the night. Close your eyes and you can almost see the stars in the clear night sky. Get out your laptop and hold it on your thighs, adding to the warmth you are already basking in. Eat some Peyote, then Google pictures of clear night sky, just in case you're dozing off and can't retain the imagery of your imaginary clear night sky. Fall asleep under the screen of your laptop and see the stars like you've never seen them before, high and in a weird tent you made from a blanket.

undefined

Step Four:


Go to a bikram yoga class. Swallow a tablet of ecstasy. Depending on the sound of your yoga teacher's voice and your chosen destination, pretend her instructions are conversations you're overhearing while basking in that tropical sun or the squawking of a seagull. Either way, with the extreme heat, your trusty yoga mat to lie on, and the euphoria you're experiencing due to the release of serotonin into your synapses, you've got yourself set up for a five star(ish) beach resort.

undefined

Step Five:


Turn on your shower to the hottest temperature it can go, but don't get in. Let it run until your bathroom is filled with steam. Take some LSD. Now, you're trekking through the Amazon rainforest. The water rushing down on you is from a beautiful waterfall. And that vomit you're tasting is just a weird, exotic animal you had to eat because you're trying to fully immerse yourself in the culture. 

undefined

Step Six:


Take some DMT and come to the realization that, with all the money you spent on drugs, it would've been cheaper to just go on vacation.