1. News anchor resigns on-air in protest
2. News anchor replaced with dancing bear 3. Dancing bear resigns on-air in confusion 4. Dancing bear dances despite no music playing 5. Dancing bear's "dance" revealed to be attack 6. Crew members swear on live television 7. Crew members beg God for mercy 8. God proven non-existent 9. Dancing bear eats all of the craft services 10. Dancing bear revealed to be Vladimir Putin
Alex Watt is on Twitter, Tumblr and an ego trip.