I hope you don't plan on being productive for the rest of the day, because the internet is about to muck that up.
First things first, Jehovah's Witnesses do not want people to be jerking it, especially deaf people. Probably because the risk of somebody walking in on them is even greater, and that's just going to be awkward for everyone. (There's no telling how many times Annie Sullivan walked in on Helen Keller mid-diddle...)
Second, Mr. Stormeh dubbed 50 Cent's "In Da Club" over the anti-masturbation video and what we have is your new go-to dance for any social event from here on out.