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Uh-oh. I REALLY need to send Dan this text. But it's 7 o'clock in the morning, and there's no WAY he's awake right now. Should I wake him up? Hmmm, hmmm, what to do...


I could just wait a couple hours until he wakes up? No, that's stupid, by then it'd be TOO LATE.


Maybe Dan IS awake for some reason? Maybe he has an early flight to catch, and he's been awake since 5 am and he's sitting at the airport bored right now? He might actually be EXCITED to receive a text from me? Knowing him he probably waited til the LAST MINUTE to make the flight instead of getting there early. "7 Hours For Domestic, 11 For International," I always told him but he alllllways "knows better."


Maybe Dan JUST got a new job that starts two hours earlier than his current job, so of course he'd be awake already, since he obviously wants to make a good impression on this new company by arriving early, shaving, ironing his one nice blue shirt for once, etc. Plus a text from home might be the confidence boost he needs! ...No, he would've told me if he got a new job that started instantly, and if he didn't, then I'm gonna text him and ask him WHY he didn't tell me about this new job.


Maybe he just woke up seconds ago from a terrifying dream and he's gonna TOTALLY PANIC unless I text him RIGHT NOW and tell him that I DON'T GET THOSE GEICO COMMERCIALS! THAT'S IT, I'M SENDING THE TEXT!!!! No, no, I'm just worrying again, I'm sure he didn't just wake up from a nightmare. Caaaaalm down.


I guess I'll just have to wait a very small amount of time until it's past the time when he has always woken up every single morning of his life ever. It's the only sensible thing to do.


[Three Seconds Pass]


AahhhhhhhHHAHAHHHHHHHHHH I CAN'T DO IT!!!! I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER!!!! WHAT IF SOMETHING'S WRONG???? WHAT IF MY BABY IS IN DANGER AND MY TEXT IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE HIM???? HOW COULD I LIVE WITH MYSELF KNOWING THAT I COULD'VE STOPPED THIS WEIRD EARLY-MORNING TRAGEDY WITH A SIMPLE TEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!


I CANNOT WAIT ANOTHER SECOND!!!! THE TEXT MUST BE SENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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