What You're Saying With Your Facial Hair
By Susanna Wolff and Caldwell Tanner
Ironic Mustache :: I'm an annoying asshole. Thin Mustache :: I'm a creepy asshole. Goatee :: I'm just an asshole. Tom Selleck Mustache :: Everyone else is an asshole. Crustache :: I'm 13 Chin-Strap Beard :: I'm trying to make you think I have a chin. Chin Square :: I'm doing a terrible job trying to make you think I have a chin. The Nottingham :: I like having a beard, but also shaving every day. What the fuck is wrong with me? Soul Patch :: I miss the 90's. Mutton Chops :: I miss the 1890's. Big Beard With Long Hair :: I don't care how I look. Big Beard With Short Hair :: This is a look. Big Beard With No Mustache :: I think this a look. Big Beard With No Hair :: What are you looking at? Pube Beard :: I didn't learn my lesson with the Crustache.