Learn to love yourself...because you're gonna be single for a long, long time.
1. A dining table for one to host all those dinner parties you have by yourself.
2. A cookbook aimed to help you microwave all your sad, gross meals.
3. A boyfriend pillow that doesn't know how to love but can keep you warm.
4. An extendable razor so you can shave your own disgusting back.
5. A faux hand cell phone case to make you feel like someone actually wants to touch you.
6. A tissue pillow for all those masturbate-while-crying nights spent alone.
7. This towel that makes those three years you've gone without sex feel like only one.
8. A lotion applicator you can use to get hard to reach areas that rarely see the light of day.