Life is awesome, but sometimes it's easy to forget that with so many assholes out there trying to poop everyone's party. Not that they limit themselves to parties, however. Could be any activity. Riding on the bus. A walk in the park. Basically any time you leave your house, you better be on the lookout, because some inconsiderate dickhead probably just left his too, and it's only a matter of time before your paths inevitably cross.
What You See:
An amazingly convenient way to travel long distances, usually as a means of getting to or from a vacation. You know, a vacation? That thing you do to get AWAY from stress and hassle?
What Assholes See:
A competition to see who can get on and off an airplane the fastest, no matter how many innocent bystanders you have to trample in the process. Additionally, an opportunity for full-grown adults to throw temper tantrums when the flying box that magically transports them anywhere in the world in a matter of hours isn't ready at the EXACT time they said it'd be.
A futuristic machine your ancestors would have sacrificed a limb just to ride in that also just so happens to make our modern way of life remotely possible.
Either a free pass to putter along in the fast lane going 20 MPH below the speed limit or AN ALL OUT DEMOLITION DERBY. MUST BEAT OTHER DRIVERS TO THE RED LIGHT! NONE SHALL PASS!
A meeting place where friends and strangers alike can catch a buzz and enjoy each other's company.
An oversized toilet where you can drink yourself unconscious, destroy other people's property, and pick fights with total strangers for no apparent reason.
A dream-like scenario where, for a price, servants will bring you any food or drink you desire.
Shitty food from a shitty menu delivered by a shitty waitress with an attitude problem. You want a tip? Here's a tip, honey: GO GET THE MANAGER.
A place to respectfully watch new movies on mega-screens with the sound on full blast. Pure awesomeness.
A daycare center where you can play with your cell phone, converse with your friends, and make a complete mess eating food you still complain is overpriced even though it's been that way since before you were born.
A one-stop-shop where you can access an array of fitness equipment you'd never be able to afford on your own any time you want.
A hot spot for picking up chicks, grunting in front of mirrors, and pretending you honestly just forgot to wipe your ass sweat off every machine you touch.
Incredibly gifted athletes using their talents to compete against each other for your own personal amusement.
A bunch of people who support the other team talking shit behind your back. Bet they won't think it's so funny after you POUR THIS BEER ALL OVER THEIR HEAD, now will they?