If you look around the poker table, and you can't tell who the sucker is, it's you. Make sure you really look around the table. Really try to see who the sucker is. If you think someone is a sucker, look right at him and say, "Hey! Are you a sucker?" And if he is, he'll say, "Yes," because that's what a sucker would do. The opposite is also true. If you look around the poker table and you can tell who the winner is, you're the sucker.
Everything you need to know about poker you can tell just by looking around the table.
If you look around the poker table, and you can't tell which player has to go to the bathroom, you do. Excuse yourself from this hand and use the restroom. Do it. Good poker players don't have to go to the bathroom. They can sit at the table for a long time and play cards. Those are the rules of poker. When you get up to go, other people will say, "Oh yeah, I have to pee too," and that's when you know you've got them.
If you're looking around the poker table and you don't see anyone else at the table, you're at the wrong table. Scream, "Hey, what table am I supposed to be at?" and your friends will probably say the one in the basement. Gather up your drink and your chips and move them to the table where the game is. In order to win at poker, you have to be sitting at the table where the game is being played. Sitting at the right table seems basic but really, it's a huge part of winning poker.
When you look around the poker table, and you see dogs playing poker, this could mean one of three things. 1) You're a dog and you're playing poker with other dogs. If so, start reading this article again from the beginning to find out how to tell who is a sucker. 2) You're a human and you're playing poker with dogs. In which case, be careful because dogs cheat. 3) You're a human and you're looking at a painting of dogs playing poker. If you're looking at a painting of dogs playing poker, chances are you're in a basement or a wreck room. If you look away from that painting, you might see a table of people playing poker. Go sit down at the table and apologize for staring so long at their painting.
If you look around the poker table and you see yourself at the table, you just were confused about who you are. You can't win a hand of poker if you think that you're someone else. If you play poker this way, then the person you think you are might win the hand, but you have to remember that that's not you. If the person you think is you wins, then that means you just lost. Always know which person you are when you are looking around the poker table.
Helpful Hint: You're always the person you can't see unless you have mirror.
Another Helpful Hint: Ignore this if you have an identical twin.
To recap, in order to win poker, you just have to look around the table. Don't look at your cards or know how many chips you have. Focus just on what is going on around the table and that will let you know if you are a sucker, or at the wrong table, or playing with dogs. Once you have that information, then you can win poker.