1. Turn Into A Wolf And Howl At Them

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A classic move. The "howling" lets the lady know that her physical appearance is pleasing to you, while your new wolf head shows her that you have a WILD SIDE and are also now a wolf.



2. Make An Old Timey "AAAAWOOOOOGAHHH!!!!" Car Horn Noise

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What's that old expression about "Women and Cars"? I don't know. There may not be one. But if there were, it'd probably be something along the lines of "Women love old timey car horn noises and will insta-date any living thing that produces them."



3. Have Your Heart Beat Super Loudly Out Of Your Chest

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The name of the game is "subtlety," and there's nothing more subtle than having your heart leap out of your chest and make a thumping noise in the direction of your potential romantic interest. She won't know what that pounding, heart-shaped object under your shirt is. A box of chocolates? Your literal heart?? Now you've got so much intrigue you're literally James Bond.



4. Turn Your Eyes Into Hearts And Let Your Tongue Roll Out Like A Carpet

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A solid two-pronged attack! Eye-hearts let her know you're interested, but your tongue rolling out of your mouth like a carpet lets her know that you won't come easy! Nothin' wrong with playing a little hard 2 get from time 2 time! ;-)



NOTE: It will be really gross when you roll your tongue back into your mouth.



5. Turn Into A Train Whistle And Shoot Steam Out Of Your Face

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The ol' Tuscaloosa Train-Me-Do! Don't attempt this unless you're an advanced pickup artist, but if you can hit the exact, shrill train-whistle pitch that she's looking for, you'll be calmly conversing with her at the bar in NO time!



6. Pull Out A Mallet And Keep Bludgeoning Yourself In The Head With It

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Confident. Decisive. Selfless. You can say a lot about yourself with a simple mallet-bludgeoning. Just remember: when you start seeing red, yellow and blue stars floating around you, take a break to shake it off.



7. Let Them Kiss You On The Cheek Then Turn Into A Rocket And Shoot Up Into The Sky And Explode Into Fireworks That Eventually Form "EAT AT JOE'S"

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You can thank me at the wedding ;-)