Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
6 Disturbing 90's Music Videos That Prove MTV Was Trying to Destroy Your Brain
April 8, 2014
Back in the '90s, parents across the nation became aggressively anti-MTV, certain that the suggestive bump n' grinding in music videos, combined with the blatant disregard for peanut butter property rights and liberal slappings of Lyme Disease victims displayed on "The Real World,' would be America's downfall.
Of course, now all this anti-MTV sentiment seems a bit silly, what with our culture of celebrity sex tapes and Justin Bieber. But looking back at some of the videos I was exposed to during the decade, I'm convinced that MTV truly was on a mission to destroy the brain's of the American youth. Not with overt displays of sexually, but with the occasional video that was so goddamn disturbing, it could have only come from the twisted minds of alternative/electronic rock musicians. Evidence below:
1. Aphex Twin - "Come to Daddy"
Director: With this video I think we should communicate the idea that not only are cross-dressing Leprechaun demons going to chase you down the street with baseball bats, but a white alien Satan is eventually going to crawl out of your television set and devour your grandmother as well.
Aphex Twin: Could we also include a tall androgynous leprechaun leader with a pony tail, with just enough light flickering over him to induce a nightmarish seizure?
Most Disturbing Ten Seconds: 4:18 - 4:28
2. Boards of Canada - "Everything You Do is a Balloon"
This video is pretty much a series of kids disobeying traffic laws and getting hit by cars, which would be unsettling enough on its own, but said kids also have tails and are wearing some seriously creeptastic gorilla masks. Worse still, all the footage was sampled from an ACTUAL BIKE SAFETY VIDEO from the '60s. Although one could argue that if it saved even one kid from turning into a gorilla person with no respect for the rules of the road, it was worth it.
Most Disturbing 10 Seconds: 3:40 - 3:50
3. Radiohead - "Paranoid Android"
Here's a list of things in this video:
-A man dry humping the air, and then lifting up his shirt to reveal a head protruding from his stomach.
-A fat, sweaty bureaucrat removing his clothing to reveal a metal spiked thong, and, presumably, a penchant for both dominating and being dominated.
-That same fat, sweaty man taking an axe to a light pole, apparently to murder the teenager at the top of it.
-The fat, sweaty man inadvertently chopping all of his own limbs off and falling into the ocean, only to be rescued by mermaids with their boobs exposed. (Keep in mind that in the '90s seeing even animated boobs on TV was considered one of the worst thing that could happen to an American child. This was pre "Game of Thrones, after all).
Most Disturbing Ten Seconds: 5:25 - 5:35
4. Soundgarden - "Black Hole Sun"
If you've never seen Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun" music video, imagine if Tim Burton was commissioned to drop acid and then make a five-minute, low-budget art movie about a suburban apocalypse. Except, replace the scenes where you'd slowly be losing respect for Johnny Depp with Chris Cornell being subject to every special effect available circa 1994.
Most Disturbing 10 Seconds: 0:33 - 0:43
5. Tom Waits - "What's He Building in There?"
"There's poison underneath the sink, of course/But there's also enough formaldehyde to choke a horse"
-Tom Waits, describing his neighbor's suspicious behavior like he's some kind of inverse Dr. Seuss, where instead of making kids want to go new places and eat tainted foods, he wants them to shiver themselves to sleep in terror and be thoroughly suspicious of anyone who likes to keep their plumbing in tip-top condition.
Most Disturbing 10 Seconds: 3:00 - 3:10
6. Aphex Twin - "Rubber Johnny"
Aphex Twin music videos rank just behind "Are You Afraid of the Dark" and Fox's "Alien Autopsy" special as leading reasons I slept in my parents room from 1990-1999. This one features an alien creature rave dancing in a wheelchair. Aliens and raves were big in the '90s.
Most Disturbing 10 Seconds: 4:27 - 4:37
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