Putting this list together was a bit of back and forth between laughing and saying to myself "wtf is wrong with people?!" I think I'm leaning toward the latter though. Your pet is surely plotting its revenge if you force this crap upon it.
1. Feather Tether:
Not that a cage is much better, but now your bird can be reminded that he's only a dog substitute and will never fly again.
2. Cat sandbag collar: The purpose of this is to throw your cat's balance off when it tries to climb and jump, you know, like a cat.
3. Cat tiara:
Don't be confused if your cat acts like it hates wearing a tiara, it actually hates you much, much more.
4. High-chair for dogs:
$20 says anybody who owns this either has or at some point in the future WILL be the subject of a TLC show.
5. Dog-o-Matic washing machine:
Yes, dog washing machines are real and yes, the owners/psychos actually think the dog enjoys it.
6. Goldfish travel stroller:
So this exists.
7. $750 mink fur dog coat:
It's gonna be really awkward when PETA protesters throw paint on your dog for wearing fur.
How else are people ever going to know that your dog is a DIVA?
9. Pet Paint:
Why stop at just the toenails? Make your dog's entire body look hideous.
10. Pet perfume: If you want your dog to ever get laid then you had better spend $44 on this French perfume.
11. Pet Sweep: Your pet has been coasting far too long on its unconditional love, time to put it to work.
12. PoochPants: Stop forcing your dog to poop on grass like some sort of mongrol, and make it wear a diaper. Just like a cute, baby chimpanzee.
13. Poo Trap: If you want to really drive your dog to suicide, force it to wear this colostomy bag in public.
14. Puppy Tweets: Finally, a device that will allow your dog to send his own tweets every time he licks his crotch.
15. Purr Detector: Fun for EVERYONE (execpt your cat who may try to claw your eyes out as you sleep for making him wear a glow collar like some 19-yr-old raver).
16. Rear Gear: Quit forcing everyone to stare at your dog's exposed butthole and cover it with a flower sticker, like the good Lord intended.