Let's face it: you are cool, charming, funny, and flirty. And it only took 25 minutes and 9 rewrites to convey this in text message form to your new crush. You confidently hit send and then like a big shot put your phone down and went back to living your life. But you went to the kitchen, made a sandwich, and came back to see no new messages. So you ate the sandwich. And still nothing! Here are 5 productive ways to stay busy while you wait for them to reply.

 

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Nothing looks worst in the texting game than a big glaring typo. Or a joke that falls flat. Or asking too many questions. Or not asking enough questions and perhaps giving the impression that the conversation is over when it's not and in fact you'd love to hear from them again. Maybe you didn't make that clear. Or maybe you made it too clear. Should you have put that smiley face at the end, or would that have been too forward? I think you really screwed the pooch when you said you didn't sleep well and now feel pretty tired today. That's the most unimpressive thing I've ever heard. It's too late to change that now, so you might as well... 

 

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Which text messages did they respond to positively and how can you force -- I mean, encourage -- them to do that again? What did those magical texts have that your most recent lame-ass one does not? It kinda seems like they were the most engaged when you first met them. Oddly enough, the longer the conversation went on, the shorter the responses got and even though they are "totally busy sorry!" it keeps taking them more and more time to reply. But maybe you're reading too much into this, maybe sitting alone analyzing a text conversation is no good. Maybe you should call up a friend and...

 

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If there's one thing friends love to do, it's get together and analyze every nuance and detail of someone else's text conversation. When you asked them to hang out and they said "sure, why don't we see a movie or something" I'm sure what they meant by "or something" was siting in your basement hearing you recite the exact amount of time it took them to reply your text about the sports team you know they follow. But it'll all be worth it for your friend when they're a main part of the wedding ceremony between you two lovebirds, which, by the way, is definitely not a scenario you're the only one imagining. But you can sense your friend's patience wearing thin, so you should prepare yourself to...    

  

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Forget your so-called friends, or the people you meet at school, work, through friends of friends, or with hobbies and activities. Those people don't understand you! But you know who will? The hotties on a superficial hookup app. And you're not greedy! Just one of the 75 people you swiped right will do. Literally just one match, that leads to one response to your "hey:)", that leads to one agreement that you should take it to text. Once you've got them on text you're in. That's your domain. The domain that has caused you to become obsessive, pathetic and drove you to this point in the first place. There's only one thing left to do...

 

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Let's face it, the reason you don't have any text game is because you're an uninteresting, unfunny person who has nothing exciting going on in their life. Maybe that's a little harsh, but if you can't handle the heat, don't send flirty text messages. Sure you go to school/work during the day, but that's what every normal person does. You're nothing special, so why should the gift-to-humankind you've been texting with care about you?  

 

Wait, they replied! All this worrying was for nothing because: "Wow sorry, just been soooo busy. But work is going well thanks for asking :)"...so in other words, you're in! Although it did take them 34 hours to reply, and they didn't leave it open-ended, and asking about work was only 1 of 4 four questions, the rest of which went unanswered. You've still got a chance but it's going to take one amazing text message to win them over. You better skip tonight's class to work on it.