Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
The 9 Best '90s TV Hangout Spots, Ranked
May 28, 2014
Honker Burger was pretty much In-N-Out Burger, meaning it had delicious, reasonably-priced burgers and milkshakes. Plus everyone's favorite band The Beets were known to hang out there on occasion. Gnarly, man. [indiscriminate guitar shredding noises]
I'm an adult and I refuse to call a cheeseburger a goddamn "moo cow." Plus, how often can you really go there for burgers and fries anyway, knowing what we do now about the dangers of saturated and trans fats and all?
A wood-interior cafe in Seattle where uppity intellectuals hang out? That's gotta be one hell of a cup of Joe. Plus, I bet there's a chess set just waiting to be dusted off on a shelf somewhere.
Hope you like your cup of coffee with a side of pretension. Nervosa is probably the kind of place where there's no menu and they look at you like you're a dick for not knowing the difference between a regular coffee and an Americano.
Monk's seems like a perfect greasy spoon spot for waxing philosophical about the Mets, ordering a full breakfast that comes in just shy of $6, and making shallow, fairly obvious observations. Plus, there's the team of busty waitresses.
Monk's has the look of a place that's been resting on its laurels for a while. Did anything the gang ate there ever look half appetizing? Plus, Paco left a rubber band in George's soup that one time. Classic Paco.
Best cherry pie in the Tri Counties and a damn good cup of coffee.
The town is home to an intricate web of shady characters with sinister motives, as well as demonic, mysterious, and murderous forces from another realm. Still though. That coffee.
Sometimes you want to impress a date with cocktails that are $14 a piece and infused with root vegetables, and then sometimes you just want a good, dank dive, where the drinks are cheap, the pool table is always free, and the floor is suspiciously sticky. Moe's Tavern is that bar.
Is there any doubt that in real life Moe's would be swarming with hipsters looking to score $2 PBR tall boys by now? Or, y'know, closed. It would probably be closed.
There's occasional live entertainment. There's homey decor. There's a beautiful woman with a trend-setting haircut serving coffee. Central Perk is the kind of place that someone could consider writing a screenplay and then go back to watching cats doing human things on the internet in.
Hey, that couch looks super comfortable, want to pop a seat with a cup of coffee? Oh, we can't? Because the same whiney assholes are always sitting there, almost never buying anything? Everyone knows that sitting in a coffee shop and buying nothing wasn't acceptable until Starbucks was invented so that people could guiltlessly suck up their wifi and abuse their bathroom privileges.
Back in high school, I had to settle on 7-Eleven as a central, late-night hangout spot where management wouldn't shake their fists at kids like they were some kind of Scooby Doo character. I would have killed for a place with a jukebox, pool table, and dart board that all of my friends and adversaries were hanging out at all the time.
Management is constantly changing, as evidenced by the multiple dudes named "Chubbie" who show up throughout the series. Eventually the establishment is fully converted into a pirate-themed bar named Peg-Leg Pete's. None of this bodes well for the food quality.
The Max is like a restaurant equivalent of that awesome grade school picture background with lasers: it reminds us of a simpler time when the jokes were clean, the jeans were acid washed, and high schools occasionally struck oil under their football fields. Plus things like
happen at The Max sometimes. Well, pretty much all the time.
The Max burned down somewhere between Saved by the Bell and Saved by the Bell: The New Class, resulting in multiple casualties and an emotional scar from which Bayside could never fully recover (presumably). Also, the establishment is frequented by Dustin Diamond.
Clearly, the biggest appeal of The Peach Pit is its rotating bill of sweet '90s acts like The Cardigans, The Barenaked Ladies, and The Flaming Lips. Plus, during the day, it was an awesome spot to complain about ex-boyfriends (jerks!), school (sucks!), and parents (the worst!).
The occasional armed robbery.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.