Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
10 Things That LEGALLY COUNT As Going To The Gym
May 27, 2014
1. You tensed up your abs a couple times at your desk after you sat down and your jeans felt tight.
2. You ate a meal that involved rice and you didn't finish all the rice.
3. You're drinking whiskey tonight instead of beer.
4. You bought one or more groceries. New mustard? Yup, COUNTS.
5. You went to bed early, or at least CONSIDERED going to bed early then watched a bunch of crap and went to bed absurdly late again but the INTENT WAS THERE and that's literally a full mental workout (which really is more important than your dumb biceps when you really think about it).
6. You did laundry today or ever.
7. It's too cold to walk to the gym. Or too hot. Or it's the perfect temperature out, and in that case, why would you waste time in some stupid gym? (NOTE: This does not mean you have to go outside, just be aware that it's too nice out for the gym)
8. I don't know, you did, like, some other stuff. You're a little tired. Does that count? Who cares.
9. Fuck the gym. It's hard and stupid.
10. You got hungry again and finished the rest of that rice. Whatever. You're not gonna fucking die before tomorrow, you'll just go to the gym then.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.