Pick Up Lines From Famous Authors
(images of authors with text over them) Bret Easton Ellis Are you a razor blade on top of a mirror? 'Cause I'd like to split a Coke with you. Kurt Vonnegut Jr. So, it goes here often? J.D. Salinger I'm not crazy or anything, but you're in the rye. I mean to say, I'd catch you over the rest of these goddamned phonies anyway. David Foster Wallace I'm concerned with your bien-être (endnote 1) w/r/t the fall (endnote 2) from heaven (endnote 3). 1: Québecois French: 'welfare' 2: viz. your own particular fall, rather than the Luciferian Fall (footnote a) -a: cf. an essay on Canaanite mythology that I wrote and would love to lend you. Maybe we can get together and talk about it sometime. 3: © His Holiness Junot Diaz I'm not un comunista, but mami chula, tu eres making my cheeks red. Mark Twain A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar, and I'm a liar who isn't sexually interested in you. Vladimir Nabokov Is that a beguilingly jejune exuberance in your scintillating musk-eyes, or are you just a preteen? Because honestly, I would prefer that. Hemingway The sea is blue. Here is a picture of my dick. Edgar Allan Poe Hark! Did you hear that noise? My heart began beating louder when you walked in. And it was not just because I am dreadfully nervous that you will discover that I have buried my dead wife in the wall. Miranda July No one belongs here more than you. *Points to her vagina.* Roald Dahl You must be a lovely chocolate river, because it would be scrumdiddlyumptious to put my Gloop in you. William Faulkner Are you from Tennessee whispering pines wonder Benjy Benjy of Tennessee, with its deadening stiff oak dry wood planks my mother is a fish the planks making up the barn, the barn which his father had sent him to for grim hours to await that stern face under glassy thin eyes pushing into him violating she wore a white shirt the seedless barn when they will come when they will come to see tens i see her. Charles Bukowski Let's fuck.