1. Find an actual main character who's calmly walking around the battlefield with purpose
2. WILDLY attack them
3. Scream right before you attack them, to let them know that you are about to wildly attack them
4. Crazily flail at them with your sword once and have it instantly get blocked
5. Stand there like a doofus while they stab the crap out of you
6. Get hit exactly THREE times: This can be a combination of getting stabbed, slashed, punched, or kicked, in any order. If all FOUR happen, congratulations! You've accomplished the rare "Battle-Extra Quadruple Crown."
7. Spin around for some reason
8. Have blood FLY out of your mouth, regardless of where you got stabbed
9. For extra credit, fall off a really high thing and scream. NOTE: Only one out of every three Extras is allowed to do this, so if the guy before you just did, you have to just regular-die
10. Congratulations! After 30+ years of training as a soldier/swordsman you are now instantly and unceremoniously dead. Your wife and children can take comfort knowing that you went out honorably: by screaming and flailing and getting insta-killed to briefly delay the two main characters finding each other and having a real fight.