Yo dudes, dad's on vacation and just wants to bro out with a cool photo -- which means humping a statue! And if there's a cannon nearby, you just know dad's gonna put his crotch on. Whoa, now it looks like dad's got a giant metal dick!
"Gah, no more kids for me guys."
This statue makes history come alive -- for your dad's crotch.
Crossed arms and straddling a cannon, dad means business!
That rock wouldn't be there if dad wasn't supposed to hump the buffalo.
"Eh everybody, check it out, I've got a serious woody!"
"Hey kids, you think my cannon balls will fit in here?"
Cannons are actually powerful magnets, drawing dad crotches in.
Gotta make the extra effort if you want a cannon crotch photo sometimes.
This is why dad can't go to nice places anymore.
"Hey honey, check it out, now I've got three balls."
"Whoa, my dick's the bomb."
Just before dad was told to leave by the park staff for being a jackass.
"Hey honey, am I a wild animal in the sack or what?!"
Looks like a dad just found his new profile photo.