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Why You Thought They Were Cool: Money! Who doesn't want to win a bunch of money while all their well-dressed friends cheer them on?!

Why They Aren't Cool At All: You never win and even when you do get some profit, you wind up spending those winnings on the over-priced hotel room you had to rent in order to even go to the windowless indoor carnival they call a Casino.

 

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Why You Thought They Were Cool: All the cool kids on TV shows had hickies from glorious makeout sessions. They were like trophies for every good-looking character who was successful with the ladies.

Why They Aren't Cool At All: Hickies are literally just bruises, bruises you willingly receive in the most awkward and unsexy way. Then you have to hide or embarrassingly explain them for the next week.

 

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Why You Thought They Were Cool: If you've ever seen any movie the wedding party looks like a crazy adventure full of booze, spontaneous speeches and last minute scrambles.

Why They Aren't Cool At All: In reality the only people actually excited the to be in a wedding party are the Bride and Groom, everyone else is essentially a wedding staff member. Spending the whole day waiting around, taking pictures in forced poses, only makes you excited for one thing: Sleep.

 

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Why You Thought They Were Cool: It's like having a mini-ocean in your house full of cute things that you get to name and raise on your own

Why They Aren't Cool At All: First you have to buy all the equipment to house and take care of the fish. Then between cleaning out the tank, forgetting to feed and then overfeeding your fish, you will quickly become bored. You can only have so much fun with pets you can't touc

 

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Why You Thought They Were Cool: Getting healthy makes you feel good and look good! 

Why They Aren't Cool At All: A juice cleanse is self inflicted torture in the form of starvation. If you can make it through the horrible tasting drinks and lack of solid food you'll feel great (I guess?) but you're guaranteed to exhaust your friends with all your complaining and preaching.

 

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Why You Thought They Were Cool: Testing the limits of the human body, proving you can do ANYTHING if you set your mind to it!

Why They Aren't Cool At All: You train for weeks (sometimes months) just to purposely put yourself through complete hell. All for what? A few facebook pictures where you look like you are going to pass out from emaciation. There are much simpler ways to show your superiority over others, buy a book.

 

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Why You Thought They Were Cool: So many huge floats and awesome celebrities (Santa!) all in one glorious line!

Why They Aren't Cool At All: Every parade moves at a speed most comfortable for the elderly, so you wind up watching 30 obnoxiously colorful small stage productions move past you while you think about the fact that you actually traveled some distance to be there.

 

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Why You Thought It Was Cool: Partying in the sun is a great way to spend a summer day! Good weather, Good vibes!

Why It Isn't Cool At All: If you can even bring yourself to drink a beer at 10am you know damn well the entire day is wasted because you'll be passed out face down on your driveway by 4pm.

 

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Why You Thought They Were Cool: Who doesn't like a good thrill! Only babies would be scared of the AWESOME ADRENALINE that comes with a Coaster Ride!

Why They Aren't Cool At All: To even see a rollercoaster you have to go to an amusement park and find your way through a group of tourists. Then you have to wait uncomfortably in a line full of sweaty strangers until it's your turn to get on a large metal contraption and be hurled around at dangerously high speeds. Then it's over in 10 seconds and you have motion sickness.

 

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Why You Thought She Was Cool: She was my date when I was best man at Bryce's Wedding last weekend at the Foxwoods Casino. I spent the whole day drinking champagne with her, we held hands during the Parade post-ceremony and then she gave me 4 hickeys when we hooked that night.

Why She Isn't Cool At All: In the morning she said she didn't want to see me again because she doesn't date guys who are afraid of Roller Coasters or have pet Goldfish. Really its her loss anyway because I don't even want to date someone who cares so much about being "healthy" with her dumb Juice Cleanses and Marathon Training!! Good Riddance Amanda!! (but if you change your mind text me okay?)